All Things Stellar

moving on to new things. again

2011-06-03T21:18:00.003+08:00

yet another one bites the dust. i know this just adds to the long list of evidence that i am but of course a bitch i guess. Trust to me is so important to me. though i tend to trust too easily, i lose them just as easy. and well when somebody takes that trust for granted and stops trusting me first it hurts. i really dont know what is it with me that makes it hard for some people to trust me.

and i've been hearing bad beef about me. not that i care if it were anybody other than my circle of friends but it was one of them. and as if thats not enough one's being oddly emotional with me. pulling faces and getting pissed off for no reason. it doesnt help when you're angry with someone and you just start acting up on them and start pulling faces. and you really dont have to make them look bad infront of other people.

i dont know, i've had it with people taking my trust for granted, i'm done doin shit for people when they never appreciate it, i'm dont with people accusing of shit i didnt do, and i am done with letting people in. those i'm still in good terms with i hope it stays that way, for the others i dont know, i'm just tired of the "jaga hati orang and kena pijak" policy. done with this and that and moving on.

Stalker tak locker.

2011-05-28T22:49:00.001+08:00

im feeling a little suffocated right now. im feeling so out of it right now. Stop this please. im serious.

cant get you out of my head.

2011-05-18T23:44:00.002+08:00

y u so sexy mistah bondoc?
i mean seriously who better to turn a Lupe Fiasco song to a John Mayer song. and who better to do it in a plain tshirt.

me gustaaaa

bloody hell give me back my skirt.

2011-05-11T02:26:00.003+08:00

im saying this here coz i cant say it anywhere else. can you please grow the fuck up? fall in love fine but dont go fucking insane. if they pass on its not the end of the world. if they take a while to respond doesnt mean you should stop trying. just give them space to fucking breath. what do you want really? its no use if they're trying but you just refuse to see it.

not everyone can devote their thoughts to only one person. they have other matters to think about. dont be so damn selfish. you are being selfish when your making a conclusion and when you dont even take the fucking time to analyze. i swear dont make me pull the trigger.

dont make me say "kkeut".

is it lalalalalove

2011-05-10T12:39:00.002+08:00

A good relationship. I can easily say, nah i've never been in one. i've been loads of relationships but none of them were good per say. i guess you could say they weren't horrible they just weren't right. usually my peers (besides the retards i call my bestfriends, when they here the word relationship they'd think "love" when you ask them "love"? they'd say "caring". well how you mean? "i dunno like they ask you how your day is, they hold your hand, they text you everyday and call you" and yeah thats lovely really. but that doesnt really define love. i mean yeah you start caring for another person more doesnt mean it's love. i dont really want to get into the whole debate of what love really is. but one thing's for sure you never know how much you are truly in love with a person until you're married to them.

i must ask why must we give so much of ourself in an uncertain relationship whilst we're still young, jobless, degreeless for that matter and still living under our parents expenses. i think until you've equipped yourself with these things only then may you truly give your all. i dont really want to call myself a commitment phobic, so i'm going the cocky way and say i'm a rationalist when it comes to relationships. This is why i'm the least romantic girl you'll ever meet, why i have difficulty saying and meaning the L word, why i shrink into a ball whenever a guy goes hearty and i can get out of a relationship quicker than sheldon can run on caffein.

i guess im often unimpressed at how easily the guys i know throw their feelings around and the L word to a girl they like. and in some cases when this happens to me, i'm just like dude seriously, until you can really be responsible for me and i for you, my love is only for my family and best friends. And seriously do not understand their need for continuous communication. i mean yeah sure communicate but not every waking minute of the day. its important especially when you get into a relation to be fair and prioritize. and people, boyfriends and girlfriends are NOT priorities. Husbands and wives yes. Your family, studies and work are priorities. but that doesnt mean you cant hang out or text or communicate with your honey or whatever. you just need to know which should come first. give yourself or your partner room to do their stuff and come back to you. its not the end of the world if they tell you they cant text cause their busy. dont be needy, especially girls.

and jealousy should always be handled positively. nobody says you can't be jealous. its a natural emotional reaction. Never and i mean never let your jealousy get the best of you. when you let that happen, its going to make you question every single thing in your relationship, its going to give you hallucinations of the other cheating when its nothing and it does a great deal in ruining your trust to that person. and trust is the biggest aspect in your relationship. if you cant trust them then why be with them. be careful when you try to differentiate care and love from possessiveness.

im writing this rant because i just dont think most people my age understand what it is to be in a relationship. if you knew me you would say im commitment phobic or something but its just a matter of deciding just how much are you willing to gamble your feelings with the beautiful idea you call love at a stage when we're all mostly uncertain. But hey this is just a piece of my mind, you decide for yourself.

kkeut

ps. take your time.

things to do

2011-03-23T17:30:00.001+08:00

a) complete news critique
b) complete design for:
1.flyers
2.magazine cover
3.product voucher
4.event tshirt
c)PR interview and report
d)get fucking used to chewing GDI

so high

2011-02-23T21:59:00.002+08:00

to start this post i'm just going to say im at a lost for what has happened. The culture club has decided to rid of my crew as we didnt not suit the propper style of modern dance (which they thought was contemporary). sigh i'm not getting into that. its much too depressing to dwell on.

anyways, i was just done shooting pictures for my photo gallery exhibition. I have to say go green ain't so easy to shoot. not much to inspire myself with. so i might just do this when i go home and take more pictures. i'm pretty proud of what i've come up with though. but leave it to the pros to judge right?

i'm glad there isnt much drama going on. or is it just me not caring much anymore. all i know is these few days im at peace. no boy trouble, no girl trouble, not much assignment trouble but there is a little bit of money trouble lol.

damn i spend to no end! i wish there was someone who could sing moneybox to me lol. preferably a boy heee. ah i know you'd probably get tired of me blabbering to no end about boys. what can i do its in my nature to be boy crazy ever since i was 10 HAH.

heres a pic that got rejected lol

seriYOUS?

2011-02-09T12:31:00.002+08:00

You know what's really effed up? when you read in the news papers about people committing suicide and other people not taking it seriously and ofcourse blue cheese. i know sometimes we may get some what annoyed by these ungrateful bastards (i know you're thinking about it). but under NO circumstances should we ever challenge them to do it even if we aren't convinced.

i read the news today and two people died committing suicide (one took a child with her) and nobody stopped them because, get this THEY DIDNT THINK THE PERSON WAS SERIOUS? YOU SHOULD ALWAYS STOP SOMEONE AT AN ATTEMPT TO KILL THEMSELVES. it doesnt matter if they're just acting up, the thing is, what if they weren't? in this case an innocent child was killed because nobody thought her mother would actually kill herself. another teenage girl was even provoked by her peers who didnt seem to believe her seriousness to commit suicide.

What world are we living in? People can take Paris Hilton converting into islam seriously but you can't take suicide seriously. bravo assholes of the nation. BRAVO. In other countries, neighbours or teachers would've immediately called the authorities if suicide was even mentioned by someone, otherwise they would've at least try to talk them out of it.

i've got to go now. but really people get a grip, and help people to hold on a little longer.

trade places.

2011-02-05T12:23:00.002+08:00

Guys will always be topic of my rant. Why? i'll tell you why.

first of all may i say, lelaki sekarang tak reti reti nak ambil hati seorang perempuan. kalau tak ambil hati budak laki lain, memang fail lah. ok now no discrimination towards gay dudes but you guys are eating up all the boys for us straight girls here. and its not just you guys, most guys i've encountered with and mostly assholes anyway. now before you call me a bitter old hag and tell me to get a cat (i already have a fat one and i'm allergic so HAH).

Think about it, i know there are a lot of good guys out there. but its either their taken, married or well lets face it just not interested. As for the ones who ARE interested, would it kill you to have a proper civilized face to face conversation with the girl?

i understand that some of you guys might be shy. so sure it is fine to be engaging in a virtual conversation through the net, but do you honestly want to keep it that way? Sooner or later you are going to have to talk to that girl in person. worry about getting together later.

and really there is a fine line between being a confident asshole and a cocky cock. dont even get me talking about them -.- i swear its a love hate relationship thing. all i can say is when dealing with such people, nut up or shut up.

oh yeah before i forget. if you really are interested in your friend's gal pal please be sure to actually introduce yourself to that person and just TALK to her. damn you people >.<>

im sure you must be thinking "hey girls should do the same and approach the guy too. takkan lelaki je yang nak amik hati prempuan?"

Well think about it, dont you think it may see a bit too upfront for a girl to approach a random guy and go "Sup?" im just saying since you dudes have hang at "greeting" random girls on the street i just thought ya'll could at least be a little polite about it. as for girls i think we are allowed to show how we feel towards a guy. But for us to make the first move and go "hey i have feelings for you" i dont know. and i'm pretty sure most guys get freaked out by that.

maybe its just me but i dont think its appropriate for girl to do so unless you are absolutely sure that he feels the same way.i dont know the right word but i know its just wrong. but then again if the dude asks you if you have feelings for him by all means be honest. because lets face it, we girls have pretty poor judgement when it comes to guys.

HOWEFFINEVER, girls we too must not forget our part in this quest for a knight in not so shining armor. Please be yourself for goodness sake. unless you are unhygienic by default or a conwoman then yeah dont lol. but really if you like weird things or have a certain way to dress up just do it. if you're a quite girl stay that way, if you're a loud girl just keep on going. if a guy really likes you they really wouldnt change a thing about you. so bruno mars but its true.

so how do i end this long ranting post? ah fuck, we're just going to have to wait for shit to happen for us lol.

count down to breaking point

2011-01-29T00:10:00.002+08:00

ho snap, ok i know i should be writing in my "assignment blog" right now but yeah i forgot to buy my CTU book again so i have absolutely no refference at all. JOY. well not exactly joyful that i havent the resources to do my assignment.

i think i'll be hitting rockbottom pretty soon. so here's what i've got line up for me this sem:

PR interview
Graphics Designs and presentation
Photo Gallery Event, 7 Techniques of photography and Photo Gallery assignment.
Psychology Research
English Academic writing report
CTU blogs, web analysis and 5 minute video tazkirah
last but not least; Performance in April. (not to mention running the crew

So much work to do and i'm barely past the starting point. classes start at 8.30 on most days and afternoons are spent at the library doing petty research.

Im glad the guys from the crew are helping out this sem with the administration of the rest of the crew. lets just hope the keep their word. They may have a horrible sense of punctuality but they are awesome at what they do.

on a lighter side, i'm getting so much better at dancing. i really want to try my hand at choregraphing. great, one more thing to add to my long lists of goals to achieve this sem. Someone is back by the way. i really dont get why i still have a crush on this jackass. they are absolutely no signs of him liking me back, he is a total nutjob, he loves himself like a fat man loves cake, he wears only white red or black (two of which are my fav color by the way, stalker much) and like half (maybe 90%) of the time i'm just really perasan.

and as always i'd like to convince myself that this ish aint nothing. I AM NOT BOTHERED THAT HE RUFFLES ANOTHER GIRL'S HAIR OR THAT HE NUDGES ME HERE AND THERE NOR AM I THE LEAST BIT AFFECTED WHEN HE PLAYS WITH MY FEET.

not bother at all.

The BOX

2011-01-11T11:33:00.002+08:00

you know that feeling you get when nobody seems to be on the same page as you are? and you know what sometimes you just have to suck it up and screw those people. No they arent mean or incompetent but sometimes there will be times when you're gonna sit down think about how easy shit can be sometimes you'd be like "so what have i really accomplished with all of these shortcuts."

There will be one point in your life when you are going WANT challenges. When you actually want to argue with the people you work with just so you know they have a piece of mind ad actually care about what you're putting into you work.

its frustratig when you are constantly pushed or left to make all the decisions and they'll just be ok with everything you say. How do you grow in an enviroment like this? Do you just give up and leave? smack it to their face and say "JUST SAY SOMETHING?". Do you switch to a different enviroment? Or do you just go with it and help them anyways?

I dont feel like i can accomplish anything at this rate. i'm not being questioned or challenged to be out of our comfort zone. of course i'd get pissed off sometimes but thats my drive. here even some of my lecturers go "Just as long as you complete your assignment." Some of them dont even push you. i need to grow. poke holes in that box. rip off the lid and tear down the sides.

this year's resolution
SCREW PEOPLE AND GROW.

the summary.

2010-12-31T11:49:00.003+08:00

As i looked back trough the past year i realised this year has been quite different from any other year. it was somewhat special. and i truly believe that i've grown into a different person. sure i'm still annoying, whacky, obnoxious and outspoken LOL but i feel something inside me has really changed. its not necessarily good nor is it necessarily bad.

This really has been the emotional roller coaster ride of my life. i dont think i've ever felt so much in one year. though i must say this happens a lot to me almost every year but not all at once.

this year i've lived away from my parents. i finally got into uni and the odds that one of my bestfriends got in the same place as well was miraculous. i survived this year hanging by a string most of the time. its like a jungle here. everyone is out to get each other. i finally had a taste of what the real world is like. its not exactly the "real world" but its more like the practice round. This is the year where i experienced a lot of firsts.

I went overseas for the first time in 16 years. i even flew overseas alone for the first time.

my first night outs till midnight. my first fantasy almost come true haha! the first time i went out on a date, double date and the first time i held my boyfriend's hand. this is where i finally get to dance hiphop lol. and i met some of THE coolest and UNcoolest people in the planet.

This year i've lost and gain back and new friends. I've gained and lost trust. i had my first taste of backstabbing and betrayal. I've learned to keep guarded. And i'm starting to gain back the faith i've lost. However special this all may sound to me i musnt forget that this is what the call the fact of life, LUMRAH HIDUP.

Ive still much to learn. learn to love, learn to move on and learn to let go and most importantly learn to trust in the almighty.

So my new years resolution;

is to live and let go.

seasons greetings.

2010-12-24T23:19:00.004+08:00

Time to bring out the happy mustache man.

:{D

For i now have a nikon D90. for a small fortune from my dad's part that is. Thank you dad. i love you so much and i dedicate my whole life to repaying you and mom back :D . of course i promise to share with my siblings the camera as well with the exception of the little gremlin lol.

i felt pretty stupid standing beside my brother and dad at the camera shop. my bro was yapping at bullet speed in fluent camera language while i just stood by nodding my head at every comment exchanged between them.

aaah i dont care, i'll learn soon enough. Armed with high hopes and determination of somewhats, chumbidwesseoyo!

Documenting.

2010-12-23T15:18:00.003+08:00

OH HAPPY DAY!

Well, my dad called yesterday and told me to look up prices for the nikon D90; a camera i've been hypethetically dying for :D . he told me to look it up on the internet and ofcourse, surveying on the internet means e-shops, bidding sites and 4 year old forums -.-" . but from i've previously surveyed the cheapest you can get for a D90 is around RM3200 and that's just the body and standard lenses. a full kit can cost you at least rm3400 so i guess that's pretty much the standard price.

so i went to the gorilla and asked him if he knew anybody selling these. and again rm3400 so called up dad and layed down the details. and he told me we might go surveying tomorrow with the gorilla and probably get it either tomorrow itself or on xmas.

xmas present? i guess so lol. i feel guilty about pressuring him to get this for me. but i kinda need it so i guess its not that bad. i mean did already tell him since day one that i'll be needing a dslr. So this just means that i'll have to keep working harder to make him proud and take real good care of my soon to be baby. not to mention keep up with my studies. as the asian dad saying goes, dont waste MY money.

It's all good appa, dont worry :D

yes problem

2010-12-21T00:29:00.002+08:00

alright, its for shizzle. i have a freaking shopping problem. out of my siblings, i'm the one with THE most clothes and shoes. i have clothes everywhere that i buy whenever i can or whenever im offered lol.

clothes; hoodies, tshirts and jeans.

too many i have to keep my room clean,

clothes in cupboard, boxes and under my bed,

buying more clothes is the only thing in my head.

really my family and i went fridge shopping for my grandma, and i ended up bagging a pair of croc flats. but my mum made me give up my sling bag that she bought for me last week to my sister for those shoes. watafak right? yeah and now i'm compromising on a half-and-half with my mum for this cute leather bag i saw last week.

ugh why must things look so pretty :( ...and wantable. seriously even today i was this| | close to getting two basic shirts from dorothy perkins. to make it worst, i spent some moolah on 10pcs CD-R's and and pack of sticky tabs!! ok the postit tabs are kind of a necessity and my sis wanted to burn so CDs so bought some for her.

i dont think i'll ever get rid of this constant want for meaningless objects.

decisions

2010-12-15T22:12:00.003+08:00

i hate having to turn down offers. i'm not being cocky really. i'll save you the confusion and tell you now. a friend from my uni has invited me to join their band. i dont know but its seems to be more for me to join as a guitarist? well ive never been offered a spot as a guitarist before and its quite refreshing. and as flattering as this may sound i'm not quite a good guitarist lol. i've gotten quite rusty but i'm brushing up again. even so i'm afraid i'm going to have to turn this offer down.

well a) ma and pa wont be too happy about me joining a band especially while we're in our current predicament. Just like any asian parent, mine highly values academic education than of artistic involvement. involvement in the performing arts are to be kept at a hobby level or to be strictly avoided altogether. i'm lucky enough to be given the chance to dance with my club (not that my dad knows).

b) i can barely leave the house unless its to hang out with friends. the only 5 friends i have when i come back home. and i'm too chicken to lie to parents about going out to band meetings. i'm too paranoid for something of that level. like i'd feel my parents would decide to come pick me up or something and im not where i told them. so hells to the naw.

c)i wear the hijab now like almost full time lol. and i'm pretty sure it would look quite weird if i were the guitarist and some other chick is singing. im not trying to sound vain if you think so. i mean come on i think it would look weird unless the girl wears a hijab as well lol.

Speaking of decisions, ive decided to quit dancing next sem. sad shit right thur but yeah. i've got personal issues that seem to be getting in the way of having my own fun. i know nobody in the club except for fasya will be sad bout me leaving, but its going to tear me to pieces to leave them.

mind over matter.

2010-12-14T01:03:00.001+08:00

ye saya beralah lagi. i mean seriously my feelings dont matter.

hold my hand

2010-12-13T21:15:00.002+08:00

last night i had the scariest dreams on my life so far. it also felt like one of the special ones. it was one of those spiritual dreams. honestly i've been praying for something but this totally scared me shitless.

i was at a neighborhood gathering when the moon burst into tiny bits of rocks. the rocks landed all around us and turned into tall bony creatures like dementors dressed in white. well being the goof that i am i tried to walk pass them inconspicuously like shit aint happening but one them hovered over to me and hugged me.

then suddenly i was in a white marble hall with many people and irah was there with me. the dementor was also beside me. everybody was dressed in white clothing and in the middle of the room were two women dressed in white jubahs and hijab, they were questioning people one by one. i was holding on to irah when the dementor tapped my shoulder and said "They said your father's name." . i saw my father walking slowly to the women; wearing his usual white jubah and kopiah. he looked very scared and i started to cry for him. it felt like only i could here my voice. he did look at me before he faced the women.

they questioned his faith and then he didnt look scared anymore. my dad smiled and started to selawat. after that they told the rest of us to think of moments we had in our lives. and i woke up right after shaking. i broke in a sweat. but i think it was a sign for me. even if it wasnt i should try being better at certain things. because in hard times, we tend to lose faith and go astray. but real or not its these moments of fear that becomes a message to tell us its all going to be ok.

Allah is there to help so as long as you believe. i've almost never turned to anything or anyone else at the end of the day when i'm trouble. it doesnt hurt pray a little, definitely doesnt hurt to pray a little more.

Life Changing News

2010-12-10T16:37:00.002+08:00

well i was informed yesterday of something very life changing. Well they say its a temporary thing but i'm old enough to know that these kind of temporary things run for long term. i guess i kinda got a few hints here and there from queen bee, but i suppose like anyone else facing this situation DENY DENY DENY.

all i know is that these few years are going to be tough on me and my whole family. now there really is no reason for me to play around with my studies now. this is the real shit. i'm fucking screwed if its goes down. my parents lean a lot on me especially my parents. i'm practically the only responsible child around here so i'm going to work extra hard. i may not be able to help much now but Insya Allah i will be able to in the future.

So you guys, if i decline your offers to hang out from time to time or if i disappear from the face of the internet one day, dont worry i'm not dead otherwise ya'll would've found out earlier.

"Dont waste your life, your time and your money." - Spoken like a true asian dad, My Dad.

waving my white flag for real.

2010-12-07T23:08:00.003+08:00

i withdraw from what is left of this puzzlegame. i really can't fit in the missing piece. i've almost nothing left inside of me. so i'll play your game as you wish or forfeit altogether. this is all i've left myself for you so just take what you want and do what you want. i swear i wont say a word if you dont.

This is a cold war and if this means i've lost, i'm glad.

Couch Potato Series Part 3

2010-12-03T23:55:00.002+08:00

ooooohkay, so just like any other academic relief i've had, i've successfully turned into a couch potato. my natural being, a spud of the seating furniture. so what goodies have i been watching lately you may ask. not much besides cartoons, since that's what i'm into at the moment.

i've been wanting to watch the avatar series for a long time since it ended on tv and i never got to catch it on air. and so, three days. i waited three days for the second season to finish download. and i abandoned all social activities to finish watching that.

oh and while i was waiting for avatar to finish downloading, i went on youtube to finish up watching Kaicho Wa Maid Sama. a japanese anime about this girl who is the class president of an ex-allboys school and she works as a waitress at maid dressup cafe. its all very interesting how she struggles to take care of her schoolmates carrying out her duties as class president whilst working part time to earn extra money to support her family. it also gets better when a mysterious boy appears in her life and helps her out in the most unexpected ways. yeah the asian typical tall blond mysterious and effin hot.

and well, both series have ended and i couldnt find a decent torrent for avatar the third season -.- so i went to find some other series.

now, i'll be off in my whirlwind of depression and couchpotatoness and rot slowly into my covers. kkeut.

owh meh gad.

2010-12-03T23:43:00.002+08:00

Well, after almost a week of deactivating my facebook.

I FINALLY SIGN IN AND.......

i have nothing to do. i finally sign in only to find that ive been tagged in 5 pictures my friend took of Jay fuckin Park when he arrived at the KL International Airport. and no i am not going to get to see him live :(

i wrote a new song today, using some of the lyrics that irah wrote but i improvised most of it. i feel quite accomplished and if i have time maybe i'll record it on video and post it NOT ON YOUTUBE. the trolls and un-trolls can be heartwrenching twirps who comment horribly at 2 year old videos. yes i'm angry. BOO

anyways i posted my very first pretty tumblr picture yesterday. i didnt get that much response. i mean really from whom anyway? my 9 followers LOL. but proves to show that tumblr has helped me get inspired these days and so did deactivating my FB lol. i dont even miss it.

Tumblr 1 - Facebook - 0

Happy 23rd Aniversary

2010-12-02T22:09:00.004+08:00

Through thick and thin. if anyone asks me to define love i would say: my parents. not many could go through what they do everyday, so thanks mom and dad for never giving up and always being there when we needed you :)

OMEGLE Adventures part 1

2010-12-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Severus, we've been expecting you.
You: yeah got lost on the way, my lord
You: they were having a sale at harrods
You: just had to get those stockings 70% off
Stranger: I hope you brought my tacos.
Stranger: ....you did bring my tacos, right?
You: the mexicans were on vacation
Stranger: WHAT
You: i tried my lord
You: quite frankly i think bellatrix forced them to make tacos only for her
Stranger: not hard enough, evi fucking dently
You: please my lord.....have mercy
Stranger: MERCY
Stranger: what fucking balls u have severus
You: tiny ones apparently
You: its almost christmas
You: my pokeballs however are extremely large
Stranger: coming here like "whoahhh soz lordie, went shopping at harrods cos im a pansy who likes to shop. oh and by the way, THERE ARE NO MORE FUCKING TACOS"
You: blame cinco de myo
You: mayo*
You: damn mexicans
You: uhm lord?
You: ...
You: u mad?
Stranger: the fifth of may?
Stranger: TUMBLR URL NOW
You: why 0.0
You: my lord...u do not wish
You: too
You: to....
Stranger: follow u ? fuck yahhh
You: my lord!!!! i am honored
Stranger: only if u follow back tho severus
You: sushi.sushina.tumblr.com
You: lol ooohkaaaay
You: my lord, i have something to ask of you.
Stranger: followed.
Stranger: what is it severus?
You: wait, i might have given u the wrong url
Stranger: well it was in spanish............ haha
You: pardon me, my lord, it is late night here
Stranger: that's perfectly well.
You: i know. hold on while i find the real one
You: I DO HAVE ACTIVE ONE MY LORD
Stranger: THEN U SHALL TELL ME OF UR URL
You: sushisushina.tumblr.com
You: there was no dot
You: i have let you down yet again my lord
Stranger: are u sure this time...
You: forgive me
You: yes yes very sure
You: it is in english isnt it?
Stranger: AUTOMATIC PLAYING MUSIC
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH *FUUUUU face*
You: WHAT?
You: I DONT REMEMBER PUTTING THAT. DAMN MEXICANS MESSING WIT MA TUMBLRH
Stranger: i cant follow u now.
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
You: *forever alone face*
Stranger: hey, you should that automatic music is an automatic unfollow.
You: i didnt know that post had automatic music :(
You: T_T i have failed you for the last time my lord
Stranger: you sure as hell have
Stranger: and nowits time for
Stranger: AVADA KEDAVRA
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

a wordless melody

2010-11-29T14:43:00.000+08:00

time to bring out the invisibility cloak.

a spiderweb is tangled up with me.

2010-11-29T02:12:00.009+08:00

so trivial. so hmmm whats that word again? melecehkan? lol
thats how i feel about myself these days. oh gosh if anyone had read all my old past posts youd notice i rant a lot about my emotions hahaha. and yeah i guess u could say im one to wear my heart on my sleeve in my blogs.

i dont mind really to write shit out here, as long as if im bitching actual names are not used (same concept applies to crushes haha). plus i dont think anyone reads the shit i write anyway so i treat this little blog here as my own diary.

and yes i'm blabbering about this because i've nothing interesting to talk about. well here's an interesting fact about myself. i've found that i can be an absolutely good liar if i let myself. so i dont really say how i feel sometimes. i lie so much about how i actually feel that i dont even know how im feeling so i end up lying to myself and quite ironically i bought the lie lol.

maybe wishing for certain things to have never happened is self contradictory and selfish. i dont know why lately its been hard for me to let certain things go. maybe im the one who isnt ready to accept yet. maybe im the one who really needs the time away. but for how long am i supposed to keep this up? for how long am i supposed to keep lying for my sake to save face?

allah help me, i feel a little lost. very lost actually.

how do you spell broke? rm10 note and a few pennies to last you the week.

2010-11-22T19:17:00.004+08:00

all is fair in love and war right? i'm still trying to figure out the reality of the phrase. i'd like to think that nothing is fair in love and war because there's a lot of manipulating going on in both. but that's not what im going to blab about today. though there is SOME relevance to the topic.

I kinda made up with a good friend of mine, whom i've been having a feud with these past weeks.unfortunately one of my best friends had to be the middle man though she didnt have to. but apparently she did lol so i thank you for i would rot in soil without you love.

in other news, i found out something very devastating. i MIGHT not be getting my dslr after all. given the recent adventures my family has been having lately -.- now we're on a tight budget. and mum's thinking of buying this massaging thing which i think is really great for her she just bought these medication thing to help with cholesterol. and well she had our baju kurungs done and they cost 90 bucks. thanks mum honestly. looks like i'm just going to have to wait.

i hope that my brother's girlfriend could lend me hers first in the mean time. i heard that any normal digital camera would do but for the sake of saving face, i'd rather sit in a corner without a camera than playing with my half-way broken sony/cannon. because i tell you these kids are brutal when it comes to what you have around your neck. in this case a camera. maybe they aren't that brutal, maybe i'm just paranoid. ah fuck it.

and i havent found any good hiphop songs yet lately. so if any of you randomers who just happened to drop by on my blog (teehee) please do leave some hiphop artists you think i should listen to. but please people, nothing from the radio, god knows what profanity has polluted the modern hiphop generation >.< preferably asian hiphop maybe? kkeut.

breaking bones, not with sticks not with stones.

2010-11-15T00:24:00.004+08:00

yeah so jakarta was frustrating lol. i didnt get to do anything at all. i was stuck in the car most of the time coz the driver was incompetent. here's a wise tip, when hiring chauffers in a foreign country, be sure he knows where he's going -.-"

now since sem break's started i should catch up on some reading or guitarring haha. really uni was so stressful this sem. now dont tell me i can't take a joke but am i supposed to just take it blatantly as someone degrades me, calls me names and make fun of who i am? i'm not going to be self righteous and say that i dont do that. and it's not that i can't take a little teasing. it just gets irritating once it starts to get old. But hey haters gone hate right?

i am going to make full use of these few weeks to rest and not think about the thinks that make me angry. instead im going to try something i should be doing on a regular basis, self reflecting.

i think the biggest problem we face when we get upset is to first find what went wrong with us. often anger creates the mist that prevents us from seeing the real cause of the problem. i know right now im getting back all that angst i've been holding for quite some time and academic stress does not do me good.

sarangeun aiyaya.

officer you be so fioonnne

2010-11-08T00:58:00.004+08:00

Awesomely enough i am now overseas. Jakarta haha. not much of a whoohoo but that's ok. i'm a foreigner and i have no idea why that makes me so happy lol. my flight to bandung was supposedly rescheduled from 3:30 to 5:25pm to Jakarta. and obviously enough when i got to the gates they announce that the plane will be arriving half an hour late. great -.-

basically i spent most of the day waiting. by the time i got here it was 8pm Jakarta time. i was worn out and tired but we went straight to this Nasi Padang place because nobody ate yet. my family had to drive back from bandung early just so that i wouldnt be in jakarta alone lol.

actually the imigrations officer was actually pretty cute. like doubleyouteeheff right? seriously he was all like "yang ini belum di isi" in his cute indonesian accent lol and i blurred out and wrote Residency Hotel on the address lol. Which DOES NOT even exist in jakarta.

then he was like "Datang untuk apa?"
and i was like *what's liesure in malay?* "uh liesure"
then he went like "brapa lama tinggalnya di sini?"
i totally melted and went all indon "tiga'" *o*

i'm a loser lol. oh yeah we had our exams with the part 3 kids and my friend's friend was totally gloating about how it was really easy peasy for him coz he studied like heck. then he and farah joined forces against me coz i aint gots a BB.

one day Hazeleena, one day, this peasant shall to roll with a BB.Kkeut.

Mental Rocketeer passing by.

2010-11-04T01:35:00.003+08:00

well as usually i'm procrastinating. omg i'm seriously running out of time to study all my syllables for my exam this sunday. most of my friends are already back in Melaka. and i'm like still hyped about this whole new album and i just recorded myself dancing. and guess what LOL. i look like apeshit funny lol. it's hella head bomb i tell you.

the deep sexy voice behind my back is telling me to study. why is it sexy? because deep voiced korean rappers live in my head hah. booo lame joke. i'm not making any sense right now because i am seriously procrastinating. just about the only thing i will ever do seriously.

and honestly if i keep this blog any shorter, it would be a tweet. and i think twitter really is the blog for celebrities coz lets face it, we all know they only 5 minutes to themselves a month basically.

Ah and i think i'm slowly getting over that thing that happened a few weeks ago. But as always one problem dissolves another arises. what can i do to keep myself from getting sidetracked?

........OMG IRAH'S ONLINE! imma talk to her. Kkeut

sasau

2010-11-03T14:09:00.002+08:00

SO i've just downloaded one of my favourite uprising hiphop acts, Fareast Movement. so far all the songs are pretty awesome. though im starting to get annoyed. have you ever get that annoyed feeling when your favorite band/song/artist goes mainstream? -.- i liked it better when it was just me and my friends who were into them now like all these ppl on facebook are starting to post to each others walls about them :( why why why?!?!

muka aku memang muka free ice cream taste kan?

2010-11-01T01:22:00.003+08:00

ah so another 31st went by. work was ok today. customers werent as bitchy as the previous times that i worked before. i wasnt that tired today even though my hands hurt like mad.

i finally almost finished my choreo for the drake song lol. ALMOST IS PROGRESS i say. i'm a little half hearted though. but you know why.

everyone keeps telling me i shouldnt feel sad about this cause its stupid, he was making a big deal out of nothing and none of it was ever my fault. for me, really it doesnt matter. yeah i'm like apeshit angry at him for doing this to and for being so irrational about the whole ordeal. and i know that he's hurt and pissed off because of me.

its never easy when you get into a big fight with a good friend. one of your best friends. all this bitching about him for leaving me these past few weeks just makes me feel even more bummed out. so here's some q and a i'd like to lay down.

he asked me why should i cry.

my answer is simple; nobody likes being left by a friend. in my case being left for because of me.

he asked if i ever meant anything to him.

he's one of my dear friends. the only guy that i would never not want to talk to.

what made me act differently towards him.

he found someone he could be with without feeling awkward.

why am i even angry.

its a silly thing to get worked up with. there are other ways to deal with this. plus i could bring up a lot of things to my defense on this.

he tells me to stop crying.

thanks for breaking my 3 months-without-crying record, last time a boy made me cry was because he was being a shitty leader. and i'll cry if i want to >.<

dah, i'm not expecting anything from him. because APPARENTLY i'm carcinogenic. but i do hope that by some reason he would come to my blog and read this. i miss my friend.

bow chicka wow

2010-10-30T00:03:00.003+08:00

aaah its so good to be able to go with my lovelies again. i missed irah and mel so much. talking on the phone sucks. shitty situations call for a bear hug and irah gives the best ones. we just hung today and thats what i wanted anyway. we really did a lot of catching up. bitching about boys and how stupid they can be. speaking of boys i'm pretty sure what i went through with last post about that boy. yeah, i'm convinced that its a mobile one night stand haha. pretty laughable. assignments or whatever i'm letting that go. plenty of fish in the sea.

i got into an accident yesterday and yeah i'll be working to pay off my parents. hopefully they'll settle for a nice fancy dinner lol honestly i dont think i can ever come up with the kind of money my dad had to pay the damages for. i'm so glad that my parents were actually pretty cool with it in a sense they still let me drive and they only went apeshit for 10 minutes lol. how will i ever repay them. they could totally live in my house when they're old.

aaaaaand i've got a bunch of ideas for dance next sem, but a shame i dont think i'll be participating since i have night classes all week next sem. gosh i hope they'd fix the time table so i could at least have a free night to dance with my crew. but first thing's first i need to finish these two songs i've been hung up on, deuces by Chris Brown and Best I Ever Had by Drake. i dont know why i'm hung up on these songs coz they're pretty gay and shit. but screw that its got nice beats. im pretty tired of the copy cat shit we've been doing. they're good but we really need to kick up a few notches. Which is why i'm gonna try to train while i can whenever i can before the starting of next sem. i still dance like a retard but i'm feeling pretty optimistic.

move to something better, better, better. Kkeut.

every time i hit you up.

2010-10-20T05:06:00.002+08:00

so i'm going to be blunt and say i met a guy. JUST met him so i'm trying very very very hard to avoid those desperately-need-a-boyfriend feelings lol. i know just how vulnerable i am with that. and i know that i rush into things and shit. but its not wrong to get a little excited now is it?

maybe it is, i don't know. i'm pretty scared its gonna be that 3 week curse i've been having. i would ever so often get this emotional hype that will only last for about 3 weeks before it fades. so really, take it slow tina. you dont wanna end up looking like a douchebag. and since i havent been having much luck in the social network i figure this is a good opportunity to boost my self esteem if you will.

for starters, i got a date and he actually called me tonight. and i'm sort of virtually keeping him company right now while he's finishing up his assignments. looks like insomnia actually hit me at a very good time.

oh yeah i went to take some pictures with fasya the other day,:
however, image uploading has been disabled for the time being and so you'll just have to go to my facebook and check them out lol.

things are about to look sort of good :) kkeut.

p.s.
if someone is angry at me, please say so. i have this feeling that you dont really want to talk to me. tell me what i did wrong and lets talk it out when you're ready :(

ciara slapped me right in the face.

2010-10-12T18:33:00.000+08:00

After quite sometime, ive yet again come to update this pitiful blog of mine. lol.

so i've been up to a lot of dancing lately, we've just complete a show in melaka. video will be uploaded once the connection isnt being such a bitch. anyways boy trouble seems to be in the itinerary of my life. sigh quite embarrassing to be crushing on an asshole who cant seem to care much on the consequences of his actions. honestly, guys you should really be careful with how you act with a girl because we think way too much in to the details. If you definition of friendly is skinship then you're just being an ass. If you really just want to be friends then dont hold her hand, touch her knee or her face or ruffle her hair. even worse, dont you dare do all of the above and proceed to another girl doing the same thing especially while the previous girl is present.

-.- gosh possibly to other girls thats just how they roll but i hate skinship cause it feels weird and i'm jsut socially awkward so dont do that pureeze.

i've always had this step up fantasy thing so i guess that's why this is so hard to handle. infatuation is indeed the worst of all situations. now all i do is listen to sappy rnb songs. i hate it when this happens. i think i'd get over it easier if i just cried and got it over with. i mean like just cry to let it go not to cry for the guy cause thats just stupid.

i dont know why i can hardly cry here in uni. it takes a lot for me to cry here. i used to be such a big baby but right now its really hard to even breathe. like i feel it under my lids but they just wont fall. what hurts more than a heart ache? is when you cant cry it out.

and now i'm just starting to get comfortable not hiding from him anymore. like i can just laugh at his jokes without having to think about what he'd think or whatever. i can just talk to him now (when he's not being an ass that is) and now he tells me he's leaving. and as if it's not enough, he's hitting on every other girl on earth. good god why must i infatuate on a jerk?

i guess it should be good he's leaving...i wont have to be bothered with what he'll do to me every time we meet.

so girls, if he dont love you by now he will never ever love you, Kkeut.

usan.

2010-06-13T19:27:00.000+08:00

그대는 내 머리위에 우산
어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤
내 곁에 그대가 습관이 되어버린 나
난 그대없이는 안되요.

i wish it'd rain more.

new face

2010-06-07T01:09:00.002+08:00

today, my mum, sisters and the lady went out to shop.

Ok, so about a few months? weeks? ago, i made this promise to my parents that i would start wearing the hijab starting next semester because they just wont stop bugging me about it. so naturally the lady heard it from dad and she got sthuperr eksthited and was like:

"Lets go out this sunday and we can get you new scarves," and pats my hair...-clears throat- yeah physical contact is still awkward with her.

so anyway we headed off to the new Ariyani store in Shah Alam and she was like "pick anything you like." and i was like hells yeah! shopping not with my money! mean lol i know but i know you'd probably do the same thing.

but honestly i had no idea what to pick anyway so i wandered around for a while with my sister and thought i'd just take a simple basic one. but after a while she and mum just kinda started picking some scarves out for me lol so we settled with 4 pieces. later she spotted the small basic ones that people wear underneath the scarves and started picking 3 matching ones.

as if we havent enough already, she decides to make us get fabrics for our raya clothes.
ok so maybe she's not that weird although she can be sometimes. So she's being uber nice and stuff to take us shopping. i really have not that much against her, i just still need to adjust to fully accepting her. I'm really grateful that she can help us with these kind of stuff. Thanks. really.

kkeut.

p.s.
i havent taken pics of the new stuff i bought but i'll just edit them in this post once i have. prolly tmrw lol i dunno. can't promise.

진실 편지

2010-05-31T00:26:00.001+08:00

나는 부러워한다.
나는 이 급격한 변화를 취급할 수 없다.
나는 그것이 일어나지 않는 것을 가지고 있었다는 것을 바란다.
동시에. 사랑해요, 그리고 나 당신을 행복한 원하십시오.
나가 이제까지 가지고 있던 것이 가장 친한 친구.
나는 당신을 상실하기 위하여 서 있을 수 없다.

항상,
티나

end of hiatus

2010-05-23T14:03:00.002+08:00

ok i think i'm done neglecting my blog lol. i dont want to mention how long i've left it hanging.

so cutting to chase lets summarise my time at lendu. lets see, i think i've failed to mention my break up lol, which isn't much of a story anyways. I have this disease where i can't keep interested for more than 3 weeks. poor guy, im sorry. so anyways afterthat, i developed 3 new crushes lmao but i'm think now they should just stay at a fangirly level its easier that way. i wont feel so silly if i oggle then lol. and as for my studies and the exams, hmm my most of my carry marks could at least score me a B after my finals. hopefully insyaallah. my finals were hectic, i've never studied so much in my life lol. the thing about campus life is that everyone around you is studying and you would have no choice but to study lol even when you get back to ur dorm, u'd see ur roomies study and u'd freak out and start on your notes as well. thats what happened to me lah. and farah and her roommate just wont quit making me study lol.

oh yeah i cut my hair there, but its jsut a shorter version of my old hair anyway lol so once i got back from sem break i cut my hair shorter uhm sorta victria becks style? but not that vogue tho lol.i feel real refreshed though some ppl were like "i loved your long hair!" flatter and thankful but i needed the haircut lol.

while im at home i tried to get a job but to no avail. i guess i'll skip working, i'll just work around the house and earn my allowance. so what else is there to write? lol

i guess its, Kkeut then.

horchata, wtf is that?

2010-02-13T23:45:00.002+08:00

Thanks to farah, i'm now listening to white people again. it's gonna take a while for me to memorize the lyrics though but all i know is i'm in love with most of the shit she gave me. listening to these songs made me realize how much i miss my friends back home and how i don't text them as much as i expected to. i still hate texting but i feel obligated to text nowadays but well you know who. but shortly afterwards i'll have nothing to say other than "u done with ur assignment? / let's have dinner." ya know stuff like that.

Now that i'm home, i miss them even more coz they're closer. and i have the biggest urge to go see them. but oddly enough no one's free. but no matter, we have monday. and after that i'll be burying myself with books and notes. i haven't had time to study! and now i realized that i'm giving myself twice the work of writing a journal by writing a fairly failable-by-grammar-and-spelling post here and a grade A written essay about what i did today.

i should go to bed now. and save myself the missery. Kkeut

Who's got swagger?

2010-01-28T09:36:00.003+08:00

This week has been hectic as hell. I haven't not been out for 3 nights. I had dance class then I had my dance club meeting yesterday. the other day i did contemporary ballet which hurts like a mo-fo. twists and turns and pirouettes and shit. at least we havent started tumbling yet. we danced to katy perry and i guess it was ok. it was actually pretty hard to nail.

I'm in my class' sketch for english week and i'm the director. and boy am i getting tired of all these responsibilities. but i gotta go on coz it wont be fair if just quit. i'm hvg trouble organizing the actors entrances and exits. I hope today gets better. I'm going to drive to town today to get things for our props. and i have modern/hip hop class today. the classes arent like lyle beniga, erik saradpon or anybody like that. they're pretty do-able lol, so its easier for me to catch up. if all goes well tomorow, i might just join modern all together. but for now, i think i'll just join modern for our busking performance and stick to traditional. i'm loving it here, despite all the shit with assignments and stuff. but i want to active.

Be greedy for opportunities, but make sure you execute well. The greedy will never go hungry. Kkeut

yesterday's feelings

2010-01-23T16:55:00.002+08:00

Good news has arrived and i think ya;ll know what that calls for....CONFETTI RAIN! hahaha i dont wanna talk much about that coz its well kekeke ya know. anywaysssss we didnt get to dance chris brown but we danced to ne-yo and i'm pretty surprised at what my bodeh can do lol. i was doing the body wave, some pop n lockin lol. it was a smoshing class.

im at the Discussion area right now waiting for the beau to get back from praying. i should be writing my journal but i got connected to the internet today so homework's gotta wait a second lmao. we got carried away facebooking and looking at sneakers lol. he even let me wear his watch today even though it weighs a tonne. k stop.

thats it, i'll go write me journal now while i wait. Kkeut.

polar bear, jungrin and smella i miss ya'll like crazeh!!!

like i can't wait for you to tell me it's over.

2010-01-20T14:49:00.002+08:00

so i'm at the library, just done printing out my script. my english teacher told us there's gonna be an english fest of some sort so we can participate in a sketch competition. ok seriously, pardon my essay-like typing. blame the loads of shitty assignments.

the other day i joined the dance club which is THE SHIT i tell you. not only do i get to dance traditional, they teach us modern dances too! we just started training two days ago and yesterday's class got a little difficult. dad isn't so happy but i'm gonna do what i love while i can. i love dancing as my hobby seriously and to be able to stage it is just as fun as getting to sing my songs live which i dont do anymore. so we're thinking of dancing chris brown this thursday so can i get a whut whut??

in the romance department hahahahaha, more like the hopeless romantic department, i'm quite active kekekeke. i had a little drama earlier this week, concerning being a rebound for a guy i like -_-" and it doesnt help that he's real slow. my friend says good news awaits but i dunno, what about my fast track? lol.

i love my brother for lending me his laptop, i'll open the door for him at 4am if that proves my gratitude lol. my journals are building up coz i have no idea what to write about. if i could write as freely as i write here i'd have pages for a day -_-" ....

ah the life of a uni student... gotta love it. Kkeut.

p.s. i miss my dunks T_T

nan gwenchanha, i'm alright

2010-01-08T21:27:00.002+08:00

whoooh i am sooo tired. so i'm at my aunt's place for the weekend which is swell coz hello internet! i miss FB like a loser and i miss my family the most. adik i miss you too! i heard my bro was worried bout me being away haha im touched =p .

i'm beginning to like it in uni, since class started i'm glad coz i've got assignments to keep me occupied. i was living in refuge at farah's room for like 3 nights i think coz i couldnt stand my superstitious roomies. they're nice and all but their superstitions is getting in the way of my level of cleanliness. im not a clean freak but i have my limits when it comes to a place thats not home. im weird that way. soo anyway, i've enough bad mouthing so im gonna stop now. my classmates are cool, i mean they were boring at first but then we had lunch together before we found out about a class that was added to our schedule, and i think that was what brought us together and them out of the misconception of me being anti-social lmao.

waaah and my cousin yanie is taking me out to the movies tomorow and if i have enough dough im need to do some shopping, im still a lil short on school supplies -dies- . aaaand hopefully i get my laptop soon coz i have this stupid assignment i have to do for the lecturer to see if i can creatively use Microsoft Word. so, abang or adik, if ur listening, put in a good word for me lol. dell pun jadi la.

even so things are looking up, i still miss everybody at home. i miss my kpop so much, i settled for DBSK and fell in love with jaejoong lmao. Hero, ur love handles are sex, Kkeut.

freaky deaky

2010-01-05T14:29:00.002+08:00

Ok, uni is really freaky you totally can't handle it. imagine playing ghostbusters almost every night. now i've really seen everything. But the freakiness is starting to tone down a bit. but another problem has arrived. i'm homesick like i've never been before. i'm crying again, i can't eat anything. food is horrible EVERYWHERE. and not just because im being a brat, but it srsly is disgusting. swarming flies while you eat. i get what farah means by "i fucking hate this place" . but what to do. i went through all the trouble to get here i should at least stay.

i'm at the internet cafe now, just had half of my disgusting fried rice lunch. T__T i wanna go home. soooo bad. but mom wants me to just go to my aunt's place. fine at least i'll be away from here for the week end. and thank allah my schedule is half as packed as my roomie's. so i'll update later this weekend?

kkeut.

asian boi =D

2010-01-02T15:24:00.002+08:00

HEY! im back from Uni. orientation week was a bitch lol. The people there are actually cool =) i can tolerate most of them. my roomies are cool. i mean im not one to click with just anybody like most of my dorm mates who instantly became besties with their roomies. weird. But not to say i didnt click with my roomies at all, it just took a few conversations to talk naturally lol. But we're cool now.

like Arina my roomie from penang call me today reporting that a senior tried to kick one of us out just coz her friend is in our room. i'm like Bite me. none of us get to choose our rooms so aint no way im letting her in the room just like that -_-"

lots of things happened there good and bad. i dont wanna talk about the bad things im tired and just recovering from it lol. We barely had any sleep that week, by the 3rd morning me and farah were nodding our briefings away. i would blink and instantly fall asleep. i even spent the whole day yesterday sleeping.

oh yeah i found my very own Taecyeon lol. just as funny and bright lol and in yo face teeth lmao. just that he's skinny lol. kak yana, you would've love him, coz he's gots no ass and he's body is practically papan 2 by 4 k lol, my door is fatter than him XD .

ah i'll be going back tomorow, so i'll update next week or the week after. dad wants me to only come home once 2 weeks at least, no less lol. fine daddy, just get me a laptop next month aye.

Till further notice, Kkeut.

dead fly on my desk. answer?

2009-12-04T21:38:00.003+08:00

i know im losing commitment into updating my blog. and im uh sort off sorry? so anyway, i went to watch New Moon, it was awesome because of the oh so many laughable bedward moments and i did rofl when kristen stewart crumbled to the ground with ~~menstrual cramps~~ disbelief that the love of her pathetic clingy life has left her. honestly i didnt see how awful the book was until twilightsucks.tmblr.com pointed it out. i mean always knew edward was shit gay with the sparkly things but it took me some time to figure out how cheesy most of the lines were. but i have to say that Paul you are one sexy baby daddy lmao. and i still can see Taylor's hottness, he's still sharkboy in my heart lol.

yesterday i blew 50 bucks on a haircut that doesnt even look different lol. but m and i went to cut our hair together for the first time. gay but seriously, we didnt even talk because im sure we were both scared that talking would screw our hair cuts lol.

plus the enrollment date is drawing near and i'm sort of nervous. mostly about meeting people lol. thank goodness farah's gonna be there and hopefully we'll be roomies and classmates. amin to that. so i should be pretty busy this week, photocopying documents to bring on the day of my enrollment and getting my health check-up. my sister's bday is on monday and im broke lol, and i have to bring hannah out to see the princess and the frog. and congratulations to Disney for being just about borderline racist. let the only black girl to be the only disney princess to be turned into a friggin frog. and im comedic bi-polar as in, i get really lame jokes out sometimes.

-sigh- so next on my to do list is to list out stuff i should bring for orientation week and what to bring into my dorm.

kkeuuuuuut

p.s. kak yana, i dreamed that Genji was my boyfriend the other night. dont worry im not so happy lol

have you seen my weekend?

2009-11-17T23:22:00.003+08:00

Gah it's been ages since i last wrote in the blog. all through the weekend hannah my youngest ~~pet monkey~~ sister was admitted to the hospital and then sabrina got sick. i didnt even sleep the first night coz i had some cupcakes to ice for my mom.

yesterday i checked the results for the uitm dec intake and wooooh i got in!! so i'll be doing my diploma in Mass Communications starting in late december =D so i'm finally getting my restart button.

in other news, i've been thinking about starting a VLOG as well but thought again about how i probably would abandon it later lol. i even wrote a new song.which i'm waiting to record into video, not audio lol. plus at this moment my stupid windows media player is being an absolute bitch and the friggin pc is shittily slow. so now i'm listening to real player which may i add does not live up to it's name -_-" ok dad i take it back, you can replace the desktop now =D. Kkeut, nuff said.

Oprah remembers MJ

2009-11-09T20:27:00.003+08:00

now i'm not a die-hard fan of the late and the great Michael Jackson, but i've always admired him. i can't say that i've never made fun of him for the rumours that spread about him. of course they were untrue, but i can't help for laughs. But nobody can ever defy his artistry. i saw this interview this evening on oprah but it rained and the reception was screwed so i search the internet for this footage. if you're a fan of MJ doesnt matter how big, you should really watch this. i mean MJ can be really adorable if you look past the scary nose-job lol. and honestly i decided to actually watch this because Oprah's interviewing him and Oprah doesnt give anybody shit. it's nice that she started the interview by clearing up all the rumours about him, giving him the chance to clear it up. he's very soft spoken and almost child-like, but you can tell here he's not really a nut like how people portray him to be.

Michael Jackson Interview 1993 from MJRIP on Vimeo.

i've always been against the post-death hype about MJ but i find this interview very interesting and very honest (i'm oprah biased deal with it). and even though this was 16 years ago, he does what he wants because he can. i mean the dude practically evolved music altogether. Kkeut.

R.I.P. MJ, u da man

lets all have a silent commotion.

2009-11-03T23:13:00.002+08:00

oh goodness so much drama. so if i hvnt said i wasnt talking to my dad, well i'm talking again. i figured screw it and just deal with it. i had my teeny angsty american kid moment, so lets just give it a rest before shit gets worst. i've always thought i was daddy's little polly pocket. not that i like being a plastic doll so much for my dad. there are deff perks like ice cream and shit (im not too old to ask for ice cream k). but he deffinately expects a lot for me. and i dont do so well under pressure.

ok, before i go on, i just wanna say this is deffinately one of those depressing note-to-self/dear diary, kind of shit. i dunno wanna directly tell my friends that im in a dump coz they most likely already know. it's practically a life principle for me to be down in the dumps.

ah screw it. who cares. i need to get over myself and a perspective. maybe im just getting sucked into Skins haha i'm even thinking with and english accent. so here's to all the daddy's little polly pockets, the second borne, the second chances, the do-over children and the kid who's always stuck to make their family members feel like shit and guilty for each other.

this has been my morbidity, screw this shit, Kkeut.

It's better if i just kept quiet.

2009-10-28T22:34:00.003+08:00

this might be bad but, hear me out.

i found peace these past few days that you werent around.
for once in my life i'm not talking to you out of my own will.
am i rebelling? sure lets call it that. i found myself smiling so much today just watching some of the many stupid kpop videos.
you shake your head as if disappointed, but right now i'm just too pissed at you. he congratulated me today for having the guts to shut myself up. right now he's one of my best friends.
maybe one day i'll get to do what i want. leave out whether i had ur permission or not. i'm not selling my body. i'm selling my thoughts. what nobody but my friends ever had the time to notice. what you so easily disregard and blame me for whilst you hypocritically "blamed yourself" for my upbringing.
i know i'm the one who's always been there for everybody when they needed me. like i'm not allowed to defend myself for how i feel. i'd have to feel bad for everyone else's misbehavior s even more so for my own. If my chance to get away is granted, i'm going for my own piece of mind, to grow and to reflect.

i love you but, i cant even bring myself to say it.
i love you but, i'm not your do-over child.
i love you but, i need you to trust me to make my own decisions.
i love you but....there shouldn't be a but.

can i get a witness

2009-10-27T19:09:00.003+08:00

these past few days have been bittersweet. i guess if you're someone who've been following my blog you'd pretty much expect it hah. my weekend was wonderful. we had a family day up in terengganu at a hotel my uncle is managing. we got to travel in this bad ass pimp bus lol. pics are up in my facebook.

the happiest part was when i got a call saying i got an interview for the mass com diploma program on monday. so i went to the interview yesterday. oh gosh i didn't think it'd be that scary. i really was scary but i did stutter though i choked when they started asking about the program lol. srsly the funny thing was i'd already prepared what i was gonna say especially for that but i blanked. ugh and they were pretty ugh but i guess they're supposed to just to see how well the applicants handle the situation. it didnt help that if i'd as much as blinked i would've passed out a sleep right there lol. i only slept at 3 am the night before after coming back from the trip. so when i told dad about my day he wasnt very happy about my post-reaction about the interview. So yeah i got angry that he wasnt being the least bit considerate about how i felt not to mention he wasnt even listening, so i hung up on him and he texted mom. i'm not about to get into the contents of the text but lemme tell ya i got freakin pissed. sigh, dont start thinking i'm an angsty teenager craving attention but i'm not exaggerating when i say my parents (specially dad) just dont understand.

and a little shout out to irah, i love you. thanks for being there for me =) i still owe you fifty bucks and my life hahaha if i loved you any more i'd be lesbo lols.

Kkeut.

abhunim, niga mib-mibda, mianhada

To whom sired me -_-"

2009-10-17T23:59:00.002+08:00

you scare me when you're angry.
.
.
.
.
.
you scare me when you drive
.
.
.
.
.
.
i'm terrified shitless when you're driving angry.

I've gone BEG style

2009-10-16T11:01:00.001+08:00

I was rushing for the door and it got caught at the drawer...my fave sweats gone.

old flame[this is the fangirling i was warning you about]

2009-10-15T22:00:00.005+08:00

i'm sorry emme, i betrayed you and my 854982498324 husbands lmao. it was like the first time i saw him in Prayer. i was like =0 i couldnt even speak after that lol. duuuude he's soooo omg i'm sorry hun he's like daaaayuummm boiiii. and TEDDY!!!!!! like aagghhhh he's sooooo hot @_____@ half bloods are smexeh. plus for that, he gets a big screen hahah

STOP! hammer time naananana

2009-10-14T15:09:00.002+08:00

i woke up with a biiiiig grin on my face lol. i dreamed that Domyouji Tsukasa and i had a really good time at the roller rink -que ROFLOL-. aaah good times.

well, this week was pretty progressive =D . like i went for a work out with irah, learned a good leg work out, got my BM results finally, hung out with irah and farah. i'm even giving my cousins free virtual add math tutoring sessions. plus i've just called UiTM and they said for me to send in a letter including a photocopy of my results and my application. lol and i'm secretly hoping i get to do Mass Com lol but i dont mind as long as i get what i've applied for. i shouldnt get so excited either way coz things could still screw up lol but i'm still hoping this time it'll work.

and to keep me occupied, Irah lent me a Sherilyn Kenyon book (u guys, its the best kekeke). so i'll be entertained without Youtube this time. and i totally can't wait for the family day that's coming up next week. i need new board shorts =p

Kkeut!!!!!!!

Nostalgia's good for the soul.

2009-10-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

i think my results are finallllllly in. today i received this yellow paper that told me i had to go get my registered mail from the post office. obviously it must be my results coz its the only reason i had to prepared one. so i'm pretty nervous lol. i guess imma have to hold my breath until i pick it up on monday. ive got to credit. my life depends on it. i'm gonna call UITM right after to let them know my new results.

in other boring news from a slacker lol. i found my old dairy from when i was in 6th grade. it was a mary-kate and ashley diary lol. seriously i was once a straight up girly girl. like i used to be a fan of hillary duff and i actually wanted to BE avril lavigne lol. i'm not embarrassed coz that was all in the past lol. i had a really great time reading all the shit i wrote lol. i was a really angsty little bitch who's got an awfully big head lmao. i'm still that but i guess i'm less lame now XD . like srsly, hill duff? so yeah when i read about my monkey love situations lmao i thought it was pretty cute and i sort of got a lil embarrassed at myself but hey i was friggin 12 (i told myself i was a full teen -snort-) . ah good times... i'm glad that i know i'm not the same person anymore. i mean even though i just evolved from a silly little girl to a silly young lady (there's a difference by the way). I'm trying new things now, i'm more adventurous now, at least now i know when i'm acting a little weird XD. Nostalgia's good for the soul. Kkeut.

Paiyah!

2009-10-09T19:03:00.001+08:00

Its nt polution, its barbeque :p

Blame the Man.

2009-10-07T22:35:00.003+08:00

its creepy when ur horoscopes predictions come true like how it told me i should catch up on my reading (which has been on my mind), and like how today i would be distracted by little errands that'll be having me in and out of the house. I was pretty busy today, i didnt even bother to kick my sister out of the PC chair. instead i yelled at the TV for not having anything nice to show besides Shallow hal (which i missed) and 13 going on 30 (Jen Gar looks like a man.)

So this week's rant topic, i hate how the "System" is so fucking messy and unorganized. I took my do-over BM paper in JUNE and first ppl said the results should come out in mid sept, then it was somewhere october, and now my neighbour tells me for sure it's early november. Like how long could it take these people to mark a bunch of do-over papers! and it's not like it's 10 subjects, there were only 2 subjects available, two papers each. seriously people, and it pissed me off when i tried to get information from the Examinations Board, they weren't sure either. i'm like WTF? no idea at all?? i dont mean to be a prissy ass but i'm trying to get my ass into college and the app deadline ended last 30 sept and i wasnt able to put in my JUNE result. now i'm gonna have to call the university and let them know i'm still pending. and i doubt they are going to give a shit whether or not i'm pending. I'm serious, it's a fucked up system. people are way to busy to overpower other people they forget to do their job. that's the problem here. Everyone wants to be "The Man" but nobody wants to do their job.

I hope to see my exam results in my mailbox soon, so my future wont be jeopardized. Pfft and you were hoping for nxt generation to lead the country in the future...more like so we could fix everything wrong with this present. Kkeut.

JGL is smexeh

2009-10-06T16:26:00.002+08:00

i went to watch the greatest break up movie ever, 500 days of summer starring joseph gordon levitt and zoey deschanel. i can safely say that there are some truths in the story. not everybody gets their happy ending, reality will always win over expectations, people tend to look back to see the bad times; hence denial, you're soul mate isn't someone you're compatible with in terms of common interests, and last but not least; everybody needs to get over it.

it's the best movie for the singletons such as i. because seriously, you don't want to wrapped up in your expectations of you perfect-somebody only to find out they're actually your perfect-shetbag. i'm not gonna look for my asian asher roth coz that's kinda impossible XD so i'mma settle with good-looking enough for me and totally not a clingy shetbag.

the highlight of the day yesterday was that we ate at TGIs and apparently we're bad ass now =D
kkeut.

4 eyed loser

2009-10-03T23:11:00.001+08:00

New glasses! Jst got them today :d total fund: rm51
Im close to broke, joy. Kkeut

My babiez

2009-09-29T08:58:00.000+08:00

They finally came! Im so happy,im going to meet farah 2day to get my gift. And Thanks aunty :d

Raya Buzz

2009-09-25T01:23:00.004+08:00

so how was raya? raya was ok lol. i had fun even though i didnt go out to visit relatives that much. my brother got to drive his car all the way to penang so i hitched a ride with him and we went all gila-gila in the car singing along to his stupid compilation CD lol. oh i dunno lol kak yana came the day after i arrived which was a day before Eid. the next day mera and athirah came and our party was complete lol. so the big boys were too gedik to stay at the little lodging villa so mera, athirah and i took the lodging hostel-like room and had our bunk bed experience while the boys stayed at the Equatorial Hotel (bizatches). and in the morning we only had some fried rice and mud colored Teh Tarik for breakfast.

so then the next night kak yana and mak long decide to join us at the lodging. so we moved to a cabin to fit all of us. we got settled in and kak yana had already pulled on her shorts and i was left with my tank top and monkey jammies when pak long knocks on the door inviting us girls to a late supper with him and uncle D and our cousin Haziq. so we all pun pegi la ke Subaidah mamak lols. as we ordered our food i noticed there were these two guys came in and sat two tables ahead of us and kak yana who noticed this too nudged me "12 o'clock" she said and i was like hellz yeahsss grey shirt lol he had hair like nanba senpai...well almost. and we were ushar-ing him like crazy. and haziq wanted take pictures so i pulled out some cutesy agyeo shit lol. then maklong noticing our unusual gedik-ing and asked what's up and mera spilled lol. so maklong was like looking at the dude and she told paklong who also glanced repeatedly (poor guy). we were so embarressed, but his friend looked so obvious that he was reporting coz we really was a bad actor when he so inconspicuously tried to talk to him while not looking at us. call me perasan or whatever, give me my moment k? lol this doesnt happen often. so when we were about to leave, we got up and the dude turned and we had a moment (cheezayh) haha seriously and i went all stupid and started laughing like a hungry horse and almost pushed kak yana to the floor lol.

trust me i was smiling the whole journey home lol. so everything else was just fine. we watched a movie with a troop of our little cousins, G-Force is stupid for some reason lol. besides the fact that the only songs from the soundtrack were BEP. "I got a feeling" is now mine and kak yana's theme song. i guess you could say i took a break from KPOP while i was in penang. like i didnt really listen to any kpop, mera, kak yana and i were all hyped up on JMovies and JDramas coz their movies arent always about love or pretty boys(well except for Hana Kimi= ikeman paradise, and hana yori dango awesome shows btw. =D) lol.

i'd post some pictures but i'm too lazy now. i'll post them before the week is over at facebook. plus i've been inspired lately to write a story. a real one. hopefully i'll actually finish this story =D Kkeut.

a great day turn perfect

2009-09-18T01:51:00.003+08:00

yessss it's sarcasm again. so i'm warning you now, if you're looking for some fun-luvin, smiley, rainbow, david spade post, it ain't comin for probably another 3 days my friend. so leave now if you're nt into this so i can rant the shit out of myself.

i ruined my mother's cake twice....and honestly tell me, how often can one screw up in a week? if i had a dollar for every screw up i had in ~~two weeks~~ a week, i could buy Super Junior. Seriously man, what the fuck is wrong with me this week? it's almost raya for crying out loud. i am seriously not in full spirits. so the first time i made the cake, i forgot to line the cake tin with baking paper so the cake got stuck and came out in pieces (snaps for the genius). so mom yelled and got pissed and brought up all this shit about the house (i did my chores today k) which had absolutely nothing to do with the problem and went upstairs. so feeling like a shit bucket i went and baked another cake, and guess what, the oven was too hot and in burnt most of the top and the sides of the cake. fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. (if you didnt know what the disclaimer in the header meant by excessive cussing, this is it).

the good times just keep on rolling dont they? i feel so shitty right now, not even hugs or chocolate pudding can make this better. Don't tell me to cheer up or it's nothing to blame myself over or get over it bitch or shit happens. shit dont just happen. leave me be, i'll be fine in a few days hopefully. Kkeut.

see you when the sun shines or when i actually have something to say. blah.

Like i'm ever going to keep this short. [you've been warned]

2009-09-17T19:59:00.003+08:00

ok, so i've been bitching a lot about not getting my dunks. and i haven't been blogging mainly because of that. i went out today and missed three of my best friends..oh joy -_-" first i was bra shopping with mum and dad came up and told me he saw Irah and Farah and i remembered they we out to watch The Ugly Truth together. why didn't i follow? i had to get my raya underwear oh the Eid Spirit (note sarcasm). then mum and dad decided i at least need a pair of sandals since i refused to buy any sort of shoes due to Dunk Depression (yes, it's that bad). so i settled with a pair of so-so scholl sandals, which werent that bad actually.

so after that we decided to head home. and guess what happens? my dad was about to pull out of his parking space and emme and her family drove in and parked right next to us! i noticed this dude in the back seat looked familiar but a shade on my window was blocking, so i yanked it away and it was her bro. he saw me and went 0.0 and i went 0.0 and i started yelling for my dad to stop the car but he was too into this phone conversation with his ex-schoolmate (seriously dad...) so me and marisa made a movie-like parting scene where the best-friends had to part ways coz one was moving to another city (or studying abroad in America in a k-drama case) and i was like reaching out for her from the backseat of my car -_-" . it's gonna be ages till we see each other again.

and mum told me that none of my cousins will be back before raya. they'll only be there on the first day of raya...haih. fine whatevs.

and like things werent already bad, i found out that the TESL course isnt available for the December intake. sucks fucking ass. i can never get things to go as planned this year. i cried a lot this week. i'm emotional, deal with it. I worked too hard for the things i planned,to have them fail before they even happen. -sings- "SHE WORKS HARD FOR HER MONEH, HAARD FOR HER MONEH, SHE WORKS HARD FOR HER MONEH SO YOU BETTA TREAT HER RIGHT!"

but after dinner just now, i decided to look at the brighter side of things.
a) i've a bunch of new underwear yay me lol
b) i shouldn't be moping coz i might get my dunks shipped in straight from the LAAAAAAND OF THUH FREEEEEEE!!!
c) i've got a honey and clover box set thanks to my sis sabrina to entertain me while i wait for my cousins in penang. TOMA IKUTAAAA

Kkeut.
is it me ore are these blogs getting longer?

devestated; a post of jumbled words.

2009-09-14T20:37:00.003+08:00

Right, so i did not get my dunks as they had run out of those AGES ago...i hadnt cried for months and that was the first time i cried. i went with my bro and when i found out they didnt have anymore i made like one of those fake cries but as stupid as this made me look it turned out to be a real cry lol coz i felt my eyes sting and the rims on my eyelids started to puddle up. my bro; being the guy, freaked out.

me:they ran out of it -fake cry turns to real cry- i waited so long for them.

bro: eh eh chill chill kakak, dont cry. -starts to rub my shoulders-

haih. i went to midvalley with my bro and we had some fun after the Dunk tragedy looking for our raya clothes. he told me the bright side was that at least i wont grow balls. his reason was that i was such a tomboy coz i only dress with t-shirts and jeans and sneakers. and if i were to get boy-ish looking shoes i'd grow balls. Funny but no, not that funny -_-" .so yeah we were there for a good 4 hours and we didnt buy anything in the end. well i got depressed and bought us some sushi take away and bought HIM a new toolbox (his car's raya gift), like seriously.

so the next day we went out with dad. i bought a pair of brown pants and a pair of blue skinnies (gee gee gee gee baby baby, actually its more like i stole shinee's juliette pants). i was gonna settle with second rate shoes, but i just couldnt be satisfied with any of the others. so me and mom tried again today since we were going to exchange the pants i bought yesterday coz they were too tight kekeke (adik, i couldn't keep the faith). i found this marshmallow green classic reebok freestyle, a really simple nike, Charles and Keith's only sneaker design which wasnt half bad and this onitsuka tiger high tops. i was gonna settle for the reebok but dad called and said that me stepmum's friend is heading to s'pore and maybe we can ask her to buy for me. so we'll have to wait till friday. if she can't find it, i'll jsut get the reeboks. Kkeut.

screw concept stores T____T .... but Thank You Converse for making my day; they played again and again.

couch potato series 1

2009-09-11T01:23:00.004+08:00

so today i watched a couple of movies on HBO. one was Excess Baggage starring Alicia Silverstone and Benicio Del Toro. yes i think he might be mexican too lol which totally my style! hola burrito lol. the story is about an snobby outspoken spoiled Heiress' (Alicia) planned kidnapping backfires when the car she was "held captive" in was stolen by a professional car theif (Benicio). the story's really cute coz obviously these two fall in love. but seriously this Benicio guy smighted me with his brazillian accent @__@ i have a thing for accents (eg; i dig asian dudes with an american accent coz it makes me fell less stupid of myself for some reason, and come on you gotta love the scotts lol minus the kilts). so you guys should watch it coz i went all girly when they went

Girl: do you like my laugh?

Dude: only when you smile.

i'm such a sucker for cheesy movie lines, but dont ever pull on me. coz it just wont work in reality, hun.

then Rugrats go to Paris came up! i was like shit yeah!!! gotta love em. i've been watching the rugrats since i was like six ,they're still awesome. do they sell any reptar merch here? lol.

later tonight after i bailed out on terawih due to constipation lawls, i watched this drama on KBS The man of the Vineyard which was pretty funny. but the Yoon EunHye whines too much here like she overdoes it and ends up sound like a horny cat lol. and i cant wait for TOP's drama Iris to come out here. looks likea hit so it should come out here.

by the way i'm still waiting for my Crows Zero 2 to come out on DVD so i could just get it no fuss lol. the Bando guy or whatever that biker leader's name is looked like he jumped right out of dragon ball lol. and they have a dude that looks like a vampire, which is pretty creepy but i'd say he's good looking enough lol.

aaaaand tmrw i'll be picking up my baskins pay. then get my pin number slip so i can apply for UiTM! wish me luck. Kkeut.

p.s.

just had to say this : LEAVE JYP ALONE!!! ok, Kkeut.

self-conversing does not count as self-reflecting =p

2009-09-10T01:05:00.006+08:00

what's funny is that this whole week, my ~~highlight~~ breaking-glass-omen-moment so far was that Jaebeom left 2pm. sigh, how will i spend my youtube afternoons now? i suppose i'll have to settle with smosh or fred lol. i haven't been doing anything. this whole Jay drama is getting in the way of my music making. well actually it's just me procrastinating and being a chicken about posting my music again. everybody say COMPLEX! [i feel a catchy tune vibe coming from that phrase.]

Dunk shopping is moved back to sunday coz i have to help mom bake shitloads of cream puffs coz some people think my mom owns a pastry factory -_-" . i'll be picking up my salary from baskins on friday and hopefully i can get these old school style [which apparently is all the rage nowadays] glasses i saw at subang parade (post-dunks) which cost almost 600 bucks (cha-ching) for the frames alone lol. and that is if dad chips in but i'll lose all my money. ok maybe i could just get a new acoustic guitar. yeah, i'll settle for cikai frames that my dad will fully pay for =D

i need a financial advisor *o*Kkeut

why does this post sound more like a monologue. 0_o [must talk to real people]

i lost my 2PM hubby...[i hate netizens]

2009-09-08T19:02:00.003+08:00

Ok, so for those who didnt know; JaeBeom "leadja" Park has left the building...he's left 2PM. i don't know if this is permanent or temporary, but yes he's left. and you want to know why? its because creepy pathetic no-life netizens who just could not bear to watch the success of others. now honestly, i'm not just saying this as a butthurt fan who's upset by the situation. and it's even stupid when one accuses a writer of being biased just because she's a well known fan (word up ellie, u mah girl lol) .

if you're just too lazy to go find the particular article reporting this incident, i'll dish it out for you. even if you're not i'll still just dish it out, coz trust me, i am freakin pissed.

so four years ago, jay was recruited as trainee for exploding entertainment company JYPEnt. now seriously, imagine ur a kid practically fresh out of highschool, move to a foreign country (doesnt matter where) without your family or your friends. you dont speak the language, you can't get used to the food nor the culture. i mean the McDonalds probably dont taste the same. wouldn't you get all angsty saying you hate the place and the people there? especially when they treat you differently just coz you're not a native. so yeah what he said was stupid and offensive, but i dont think it was enough to deport him from a country...internet people are whack.

i'm just really pissed at the sickos out there who go through the trouble to search for artists' comments that they left at their friends' page on a friggin social site. FROM AGES AGO. call me obsessed or what ever, but i just dont think it's fair for anybody to gang up on some one, celebrity or not. i mean it's not like the guy pulled an Edison Chen or anything. Paris Hilton didnt get deported for not knowing half the states of america. by the looks of some reports (yes i'm more keen on kpop news rather than to see who's go a hold of the state government), it seems like these people have something serious against JYP (Park Jin Young) . they made a fuss over him not using the korean phrase for instant noodles which is supposed to be Ramyun when he used Ramen -_-" can you tell by how crazy these people are?? You can't deport JYP anyway, he practically owns Kpop lol. and dude seriously, a petition for Jay to commit suicide?!? that's just [u]inhumane[/u]. there is never a circumstance where committing let alone encouraging suicide is acceptable.

if you dont get the picture i'm trying to draw for you, i'm not just talking about the celebrities v.s netizens. i'm talking about how they act as a person, as a human being. how they react to someone's past faults. blowing things out of proportion is not how you react so someone's mistake, whether they're a politician, a musician, a guy or girl you know from school. bringing it up was fine, but to actually act against the guy?

conclusion: I think YG did it. coz Tae Yang's coming out with an album in november (i think) and since 2pm was supposed to come out with an album in october, He wouldnt want 2PM stealing the thundaaa.

Kkeut.

p.s.
You'd be stupid enough to think that conclusion is real -_-"

Fan Service anybody ;)

2009-09-08T00:38:00.001+08:00

Royalties...

His Royal Prettiness shakes some booty while His Royal Cheapness blows me away with his wit.
i still desperately need to know the name of that song in the end.

rawr ^0^

2009-09-04T22:35:00.003+08:00

omg yesterday i watched the manliest movie ever lol. Crows Zero originated from the manga Crows Zero this is the prequal, the story before the manga. if you're one for the hotties...this is not the movie for you lol. almost nobody's hot. Shun Oguri decided to go tribal in this movie XD yes it's japanese. but if you're a movie buff like me, seriously you'll love it.

what could be more fun than watching a bunch of high school delinquents beat each other up?! kak yana, i didnt get the email. T__T i'll just search on youtube for the sequel. i'm not a good story teller but basically this is a story of a boy who want's to prove to his dad that he is waaay more gangsta by taking over a whole delinquent school. i especially liked how some characters wore mask. i mean despite putting others on their death beds but they still worry about deathly airbourne viruses kekeke.

i'm gonna sign up at video ezy nxt week so i can rent all the movies/dramas i want. oh yeah i finished hana kimi and i've got to say that i am in love with Toma Ikuta aka Nakatsu Suiichi for his physical monologues alone XD . but the ending was like blegh...i mean the kiss wasnt even a kiss. like what is up with some asian actors?? they kiss like they're pasting a barbie sticker on a wall -_-" however it had a good story line, and you have GOT to watch the special episode. Kkeut.

the complexity that is I

2009-09-01T13:48:00.005+08:00

oh so yesterday was hectic. ya know with it being the 31st and the fuckers that use consumer rights against us -_-" . it was the last day of the 3-day promotion at baskins and i had a full day shift. i woke up half asleep and arrived kinda late. when i got there 3 new ppl joined the crew which was a relief coz obviously, more help. when i was time to open, it turns out that i was supposed to be stationed at the packaging area to pack all the orders and there i was thinking i was useless coz everybody was scooping up ice creams and i just stood there waiting for orders to finish. dont get me wrong it's just as tiring packing up as scooping ice cream. coz i was doing this alone half the day. but then i still get this fear that the others might not think that it's fair. i guess it's my irrational inferiority complex kicking in...it gets so big sometimes that it's really unhealthy lol. but i get by, no matter. just put a smile on my face =) .

so anyway, later in the day this guy starts to help me. and who am i to stop him? i was tangled and he was kinda cute haha. everybody helped each other which was what made the day bearable. i felt useless when i had nothing to do for like 5 secs coz everybody else was constantly taking orders and i could leave my post. as if it wasnt stressful enough, the customers kept their eyes on me and my Styrofoam box of ice cream like a hawk. but i do scoop up occasionally when an order goes missing. the irah and i had to go out and get some change and thank goodness my old boss was kind enough to help us spare some change. we were gone for a good hour. bla bla bla the day ended with tub scrubbing and we got to eat some left over ice cream straight from the barrel tubs.

the funny thing was i didnt even get everybody's name XD i mean knew half of them. not even the guy who was helping me which made irah go "You've been working with him all day and you didnt even get his name?!?". it's the complex dude, i couldnt bring myself to ask his name let alone his number lol. i need a shrink seriously.Kkeut.

this is how one de-ages

2009-08-30T01:24:00.002+08:00

so i got my pay todaaaaaayyy. i can feel my dunks going badunk-ka-dunk-dunk on my feet. and first day at baskins for the three day promotion. there wasnt as many ppl as we'd expected coz most people didnt even realise that we were having a three day sale. most probably word's traveling fast and tmrw would be torture lol. i dont think i worked as hard as i wanted today coz we were fasting and i seriously felt like the compressed air in my lungs were shooting straight up to my head. i hope i could be more useful tmrw coz i've got a full day. toughen up chica, we've got a lot to do tomorrow. and irah's bringing me her Hana Kimi box set! whoohoo! i completely forgot she had that and that she told me about the show last year lol. -sigh- off to watch some hana kimi now before i go to sleep =D . Kkeut.

back @___@

2009-08-28T20:59:00.002+08:00

so how was penang?....i felt like like was in forks minus vampires, coz it's ramadan and their supposed to be locked up somewhere lol. the whole time i've been there, there was only one day when it didnt rain. it was so cold we didnt need to turn on the fan, let alone the a/c. and heck, penang's an island! lol not supposed to rain that much.

so much of my days were spent, watching spongebob, pixar movies and entertaining my two little cousins fatimah and thahirah who are absolutely wonderful lol. if it were possible to de-age 10 years i think i did it last week lol. on wednesday we went out to Queen's Bay and watched UP which was adorable lol and boosted up my aerophobia -_-" . what else what else....i can't say much coz we didnt really do anything coz it rained all the time. but i do have a "To Watch" list now. Crows Zero 1&2, Hanazakarina Kimitachii, and watch hana yori dango again kekeke.

and tmrw i'll be working at baskins.Kkeut.

p.s. i'm still waiting for my SR salary -_-" needzzz moneyyyy

happy fastings

2009-08-22T14:47:00.002+08:00

So it's the first day of Ramadhan today. the first day of true abstinence, the first day of our personal sacrifices, the first day to attempt to resist temptations. the first day we muslims resist to eat and drink from dawn till dusk. Well, i wont be fasting until well Scarlet Johansen completes her monthly visit.

anyways, i'm going to penang tomorrow to visit and teman me granmum for the first week of ramadhan. this means, no internet, no wifi, no laptop even, and no HBO T_T .... i'm gonna miss a bunch of wild bunny stuff. but i promised irah i'd keep my self productive. so i'm gonna write songs and think of new stories. i wont be taking along my guitar coz its troublesome to do so since i'm going on a flight and i'm not sure how i'm getting back (probably by express bus kekeke) . so this whole post is to let ya'll know i wont be here for a week starting tmrw. tsk tsk or not. so if i get my hands on a pc i'll be sure to post something here first =D. Kkeut.

Annyong Je Chinggu =)

mission accomplished

2009-08-21T21:21:00.002+08:00

so today me and irah drove to sunway. so let's start when we actually got there lol coz a mishap free journey is kinda boring XD. ok we got there and i was about to change into mission mode and there were a bunch of boys out of their cars looking for something apparently. so irah was like, just do it quickly and they wont notice. then a group of kids parked RIGHT beside my car and i was in my monkey panties freaking out i quickly yanked my pants up. though the girls kinda looked like i had a cockroach running around in my car lol. hey they didnt see me panties so i'm good. then we went straight to the cinemas to check tix for the movie we were gonna watch which was Orphan and it turns out it wasnt out yet so we ended up watching a normal love comedy like we always end up to, I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER. which was actually pretty cool, it was real cute. and it was added that i've always had a girl crush on Hayden Pennetier since Bring it on. it was like any teen movie but from an original perspective of a lovelorn valedictorian blinded by infatuation to see unexpected parts of the crushee. why must the cutie be gay?? ok atleast this time he's Bi-Sexual lol.

so anyways, after watching ILYBC, we went to eat lunch so blah blah blah. then we dropped by FOS coz i said i wanted a big t-shirt to suit my fashion taste for now which is influenced by 2NE1 and E.Via. Wait, not the whole swimsuit outerwear/leather pants/palm tree hair. i was into Minzy's big t-shirt + skinnies/tights style and Dara's so-called hiphop gangsta baggy pants thing which was also what E.Via sports. once i get my dunks and a funky cap my style would be complete haha. call me a poser or whatever you want, i'm a creative writer not a fashion guru, and if it looks good and it aint midriff bearing or showing my ass what's wrong right? So we found one red tshirt which was actually a dude's shirt which was what i was going for anyway. Irah and I call it the imaginary-boyfriend shirt coz when a girl wears dude shirts they call it boyfriend shirts and since i dont have one, hence the term imaginary lol. since i ran out of cash XD irah bought it for me. i love you Irah =D i'll pay you back after payday love. promise! buku 555 (loan record book lol)

and the whole funny thing about the mission was that we weren't really paying attention we were just being gay enjoying our time together lol. so was out mission a success? honestly it wasnt even a mission coz there practically nobody to test it on. to cut it short, we've got bad timing lol. but we did spot this small shop at the ground floor that had real awesome hoodies. and that was when i told irah i'm getting back to my hip hop style that i left when i went emo haha. i still have my baggy pants from back in the day. like i said, just waiting for me dunks to come in. Plus my bro is the awesomest coz i told him that im into wearing dude tshirts atm and this is what happened;

me:dude, look this tee's nice right?
bro:-nods indifferently-
me: it's a dudes shirt actually
bro:if you want more dude shirts, remember when you bought me those graphitees last year? Yeah, they show my tummy now so you can have them if you want
me:what?! Fo realz!?!? Sweeeeeeeet.
Kkeut.

hey i dont need to alert the news papers!

2009-08-21T10:46:00.003+08:00

so my ex-school was in the malay mail's online reports. and i'm here going TOLD YA SO!!! a lot of parents were thinking the same thing. it's stupid. "no cause for panic." like whuuuuuut??? my ass -_-" must i remind you it's friggin plague. one that's HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS!?!?? so here i am going, HAH! IN YOUR FACE SMK USJ 12. talk about bad publicity lawls.

ready to play super girl?

2009-08-20T19:48:00.004+08:00

no it's not something kinky. no, i'm not forming a girl band.

i'm absolutely pissed off after hearing all this story concerning my old school SMK USJ 12. first of all, i've never been a 100% proud twelvean (who the heck came up with that lame name) and these following events just piss me off even more. it's almost as if the whole school is just a publicity act for the big guns of the school. i love most of the teachers but i have a problem with those at the top of the ~~food chain~~ organization chart.

seriously, first our dear Ms Chai passed away suddenly due to the deathly virus H1N1, which has me wondering, why the heck didnt they close the fucking school earlier because they should've known she was suffering from the virus. now that's she's passed, Ms Chow is now in ICU also suffering H1N1 and they still havent closed down the school! how do i know? my aunty is friends with the aunty who works at the canteen reports that the attendance was 20 for the morning session. meaning the school is still open. And now they're saying MsChai had actually passed away due to lung cancer?!? that just doesnt make any sense. like a friend of mine Mei Yee mentioned that if someone dies suddenly it's lung cancer, its just stupid and an insult to her family.

what the fuck is with the ignorance in the school?! i dont care if it's just a day or two away from school holidays. H1N1 is on national...scratch that, global alert. this is serious. it's a plague. A PLAGUE. i'm especially worried for my sister who attends this school now. i've told her not to go to school until after school holidays. screw this ignorance. i feel like writing this to the news papers but i'm gonna need some support before i do. this is a really sensitive topic since i'm practically questioning the way this school is run. trust me if you went to my school as long as i have you'd be pissed and you wouldnt be surprised by the said accusations. well facts are more like it. Stop trying to save face and start trying to save lives. Kkeut.

omg g-dragon has joined the death note cast

2009-08-20T00:40:00.003+08:00

that's what it looked like in his new mv for his solo single Heartbreaker,which was an ok song lol not bad. ok so the record isnt horrible but i wasnt like woah!...why am i bothering? coz i took a nap at 6 and now i cant sleep. and guess what? i downloaded the album XD i heard most of it already anyway and sorry jungrin and amira, i dont think it's worth my money to buy anybody's record right now. i think only like a few songs are quite tasteful lol. of course "The Leader" was the best coz Teddy made most of it hah and CL was like dayum girl! and GD sounds like himself. and i didnt tell you the best part of the song....NO AUTO TUNE! haha and i loved butterfly coz it made me all sappy and gay and warm and fuzzy inside, like i swallowed a persian cat. Hello was ok too i guess, i enjoyed it. dara sounded cute in it =p even though seoulbeats didnt think so lol. "she's gone" is quite cool too. again its the magic Kush touch. i have this theory that any song Teddy and Kush touches turns to gold XD . love this line from "the leader" btw, "check your girl's phone coz it's me in the frame" and everything CL said lol. she's gots flow.

but HE RUINED THE BEAUTY IN TAEYANG'S VOICE in Korean Dream-_-" ...ok maybe not beauty but the boy can already sing! why abuse auto tune on him!??! =( gossip man was horrible me no likey....i think im about to cry coz i may have expected to big. ok maybe not cry...but yeah i'm disappointed. and what's with the last track, one year station? GD, stick to rapping hun. singing's not your forte, most of the time.

so conclusion? the album's 50-50 for me. some of the songs are like the bomb but the others mcm jpop....not into that.

facebook doesnt want me around tonight. Kkeut.

btw emme, apparently ur hubby is captain G-Sparrow -snort- how kinky lol

p.s. i forgot about breathe lol...uhm yeah he breathes, big shocker there....

p.p.s. dont be mad. i'll not like his album if i want to. if you like it, hey i aint stoppin yah! VIP baby =p

H1N1 ALERT! omgzwtfbbq

2009-08-19T10:53:00.001+08:00

now my sister just found out that a teacher from SMK USJ 12 from the morning session had jut passed away from H1N1. and supposedly before this there has already been cases of it's students being suspected of being infected with the virus. before this teachers have been trying to keep this under wraps but now that a teacher had passed away from the virus, a maths teacher (i'm too afraid to think of whom coz i love our maths teacher so much), the word is that the school is now closed. now please take note that i heard this from a third party, so i'm not quite sure of any deaths. if anybody knows anything of this please let me know.

if you are still in school or know someone still in school, please ask them to be sure if there had been any cases of H1N1 amongst their friends. the school will always deny these kind of things to protect their so called name. this is not a question of pride, people actually DIE from this disease. if a school must be closed then it must be closed. no questions asked. this is serious, the death toll keeps rising everyday. i know you kids like myself; would still want to go out and hang with your friends and such. just please take precautions, wear a mask, carry a hand sanitizer, if you get sick please consult with a doctor immediately.

i've heard from a student in smk usj 13 that some students say some of their friends are suspected of H1N1 and that the school is taking no action at all. ~~dont be like USJ 12~~, dont wait until someone dies then only will this be a serious matter. dont put others to danger for the sake of making kids go to school and study (my sister is partying with her friends btw -_-" now that school's def. out)

written by
Tina Yusof :)

p.s. yes i must credit myself....why couldnt this had come out for SPM last year -_-"....right last yr no demam babi, stupid nyamuk je.

most embarressing part of my life...so far.

2009-08-18T14:34:00.003+08:00

way to be optimistic.

so highlight of today is...-drum roll-...................MY CAR ALARM WENT OFF IN TAIPAN!!!
+_+ of all times and of all places why then? why taipan??????? so there i was humming to blink 182 (if you didnt know any better, i still do listen to white ppl once in a while) after happily buying some ehem ehem veet and some Vaseline whitening lotion (this was barely 4 bucks talk bout cheap XD). so anyway i made my way to my car and pressed on the unlock button. and guess the obvious, it didnt unlock like it should. so thought i was being smart, i unlocked the muthafutha using the key and it let out the most ugly wailing sad excuse for an alarm. damn i'd be a little proud if it sounded like those power ranger gun toys -_-"

but noooo it had to go weeeeeaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiioooooorrrrr ngeeeeeeeeek ngoooooooouuuuuuut.

but one thing made my day though, since the morning. whoever this clement person is that made today's channel v's the playlist is a genius lol. i woke up this morning and they were playing backstreet boys, n'sync, 5ive and that gay boy band A1 lol brings back the memories. so, the eighties electro music and fashion came back, you think the nineties would ever come back? lol like the return of the twisties hair do...wait, will.i.am already did that. anyway, Kkeut.

Andwe T___T

2009-08-16T15:19:00.001+08:00

i wrote one and a half page yesterday...and it blacked out and i FORGOT to save it and now its gone @___@ .

crap.

4 in the achim

2009-08-15T03:44:00.003+08:00

achim means morning (no i did not sneeze...lame joke) and it's almost four....i think my biological clock is just too happy that i'm no longer working that it just decided to stop functioning. i caught up on my wild bunny episodes, watched some 2NE1 TV bom is supa adorable she should not be 25 coz she goes like this -.- all the time. i even wrote a whole page for a new story coz i'm lame that way. i'm on headphones with no music on. adik left some tea in a mug...feels like insomniah ah ah aaaah, damn you wheesung.

I've rockets on my backpack; BLAST OFF

2009-08-15T00:24:00.004+08:00

omg yay my last day at work is over. i no longer work those horrible hours, i no longer have to handle dumb ass subang jerk offs, i will no longer reek or sour mop water lol. i'm gonna miss my co-workers though. i'm so glad they made working so much less painful, i heard they've bullied a bunch of other newbies so i guess they must like me to not give me much of a hard time. so today started really slow like really freaky slow lol then the customers started pouring in the evening like fate was giving me a break today. thank you almighty =D. after closing we had some of my mum's awesomeliscous bread pudding. so since the gorilla was hanging out with his friend, Afiq had to give me a lift to Carlo's and i had to conquer my fear of two-wheeled vehicles. Thanks Afiq =)

irah asked me to come to her play tomorrow (today), but said i didnt hv to if it was a trouble for me. i really do wanna go =( but im not sure i can...i miss irah i really wanna see her. if i can't we have to go out on sunday with marisa. we just HAVE to.

so things to do now that i'm done with working:
a)hang out with me besties more.
b) write more songs.
c) actually get down to recording again and make more youtube vids.
d) write more stories lol
e) get some sleep -.-
f)hunt down missed 2pm vids.
g) clear up hard drives
h) download cd2 of the Feel gHood Muzik: the 8th wonder - Drunken Tiger.
i)find out why the heck seoulbeats is out lol
j) get me dunks
k)get Bio-Oil and more skin products to repair my now over-worked face due to 10 hours of stupidly smiling away my mistakes.
l) GET A BOYFRIEND

me: bro if i was that bitchy i'd have a boyfriend by now.
bro: ur just lame kakak, thats why ur bf-less. enough let's not talk about the story of your life, i feel like crying for you.
me: *sarcastically* yea dude i cry myself to sleep everynight.
bro: *seriously* seriously?
me: pwn. -_-"

oh here's another convo with my bro;
friend: ur sis looks really tired man, take her home.
bro: nah it's ok, she just looks cranky coz she stinks so bad now.
me: well i stink coz i was making a living, u stink coz you smoke.
bro: @__@
friend: -high 5's me- ur sis rules.
me: only i can do so to him -victorious smile-
PWN

oooh one more!
me: -finally finds bro at carlos- dude! sorry i couldnt find you.
bro: dumb bitch, how could you not see me when you came down like right there! -points to nearby entrance-
me: dude, ur sitting in a dark corridor check ur skin color. PWN

2 out 3 wins. conclusion, i pwn =D Kkeut.

bear hug for who guesses my header right.

2009-08-12T23:53:00.003+08:00

i was clearing up my drives and found it! i was like duuuude that was like ages agoooooo. so anyway today had lunch with Irfaan, dude, thanks for being my lunch buddy lol. ur supervisor came by as well lol. so today felt like one of those dreams where time never seem to move fast enough and the tick tocking of the clock drives you up the wall. i was so sleepy~....

today irah and i decided that our mission had to be aborted. but no worries, our social experiment will be carried out in the near futura.

conclusion for today; Cheese + Macaroni = BLISS. Kkeut.

p.s. snaps for me, i didnt write an essay this time lol and Tiger JK is a living urban korean legend. nuff said.

upset

2009-08-10T23:56:00.007+08:00

the reason why i hate the internet sometimes. it's not serious but MAAAAN does it tick me off.

idc if ya'll can see it or not lol.

on a lighter note; I'VE LEARNT TO SCREEN CAP. lameness

at 2 in the afternoon

2009-08-09T23:27:00.004+08:00

So last night i had a weirdly funny awesome dream lol. first i was at work and i had to fix the fridge i think coz Mel told me to lol so after that my friends brought me to a house party; one that was really not wild lol. there were jst about 20 of us. so while the others were talking, i sat on the carpet in the living room and watched TV. so i hear some dudes talking behind me then i turned to see Chan Sung and Junsu. i didnt notice Junsu at first, i was just asphyxiated on the fact that Chan Sung was there. i guess i looked really tired coz Junsu said (in his Engrish lol) "you look like you have back pain, let me massage your shoulders." before i could reply he started massaging my shoulders lmao. so then irah and emme called.
so i was like "duuude, you are never going to believe me"
irah: "What? good news?"
me:"verrrry good"
emme: "omgzzz"

then out of nowhere Jae Bum appears and says "Dude you sound so weird it sounds wrong. gimme the phone" and he snatches the phone anyway and says "She's talking crap, please excuse her" and he hangs up. then they pull me to follow them get some pizza. so then we were at a pizza place which was also a concert venue..it was world stage and a pizza place o.0...im not really sure what happened next. i woke up shortly after and giggled.

so irah and i almost abandoned our secret mission coz she said the goodies might've been sold out. however, we've apprehended the perfect apparel for our social experiment. and we are still trying to get our hands on them goodies which i'm positive are still out there...if all else fails, social experimenting shall take on a different venue. oh yeah i forgot to say that farah, i love those sunnies you were wearing today. and its so nice to see farah and mel again lol those tards together can create world class chaos. i think they can only function while the other is around XD what a bond. mel is not into twilight, amin.

in other news, 6 more days till i'm done with my job. i think i might miss those guys lol, Kkeut.

p.s. highlight of my day; i misspelled because = venouse -_-"

ok... what?

2009-08-09T00:04:00.002+08:00

so right (why do i always start this way?), i woke really early today because i forgot to wash my uniform (blagh) so mum made me wake up at 6.30 so i did and washed my shirt and drank some milk...i don't know why....so then i couldnt go back to sleep so watched Sugar, peanut butter chocolate cup/tart things lol look sinfully delicious. then Stardust came on and i was like yeaaaah so stayed up through that till nine. then Dude Where's My Car came on and i was like DUUUDE! my favorite movie ever; first time i fell in love with Sean William Scott.

i dunno, what else? oh yeah uhm work was really fun near the end of my shift. izzah thought it'd be funny if she texted ayid with her celcom num which he did not know and pretended to be a girl called Shimah who worked for the Sunway branch. so after a few texts he actually called and izzah called me to answer the phone! so i was like heck yeah time for my multiple voice talent to shine lol. so i dont know where this really cutesy girlish girl voice was inspired from but it came out of my mouth lol. we were all laughing at how well i pulled it off especially with that voice which totally creeped all of us out in a way.

to top things off...thank you mel for that hilarious text. i was gonna say "you could've just said hey howya doin?" but then i thought, "wait, that was how you say hello..."

i was actually going to white like one sentence saying "i dont remember a thing from today" but i'm baffled by this progress @___@ . Kkeut.

p.s. commence phase one supa secret mission at 1500 hours august 9th.

p.p.s hopefully my dunks will arrive by raya time =D

it's just a sugar doll ya tard -_-"

2009-08-07T15:13:00.003+08:00

so yesterday i went back to work after my horrendous fever. again it's nothing serious but i didnt want to endanger the customers no matter how much they like to rip my intestines out through my rectum (i just felt the need to be graphic, bear with me). so actually the highlight of my day yesterday was that this customer had actually STOLEN a sugar doll aka edible cake ornament right off the counter in front of my very eyes! i'm like dude! it's only rm2.10! what a fucker.

so there i was returning menus to the counter and without noticing i was RIGHT there behind him barely a meter away; the man grabs the ornament off the display tray. and i'm not one to simply accuse but it was pretty obvious coz the thing was taped to the tray so if had he taken the thing it'd look pretty obvious dont you think? so his was was looking at him like "watafak are you doing?" and he was looking back at her like "shuddup bitch," and he quickly crossed his arms like nothing happened. so i knew the wife saw me looking at him and she was looking like "omfg did she see him?" in my head i was like "fuck yeah i saw that,"

so i kept eying him for a sec or two before i decided i should say something. so i go "Excuse me sir, could you please pay for that?"he looks at me all fake-innocent and what not pulls out one of his hands (while "magically" and obviously transferring the doll to the other hand) and showing a crumpled ball of paper. i narrowed my eyes at him and just said "hmm, it's ok sir, i thought you took something and forgot to pay, my bad." but i stared at the couple the whole time till my colleague was done decorating his cake. in this business you meet all kinds of people. i'm not even kidding -_-" did i mention that most of the couples that come in here, the ladies have to pay for the shit?! if it were me i'd be like "it's either you pay or we dutch, i aint paying for ur shit." i only do that for my girls, i aint paying for my BF thats just sad lol unless its an emergency.

Speaking of emergencies, after work i had to rush out leaving the floors half-moped coz we had to rush my bro to ER coz he had a serious high fever. now you know i'm gonna rant about what goes on there too so take this as a warning leave if you hate rants or just my plain bitching. there were so many people, everyone wore a mask and nurses running around and babies crying...dad said it was like the apocalypse in a disaster movie. so sure i understand that the queue for the doctor would take a while. but seriously! damn these people are paranoid! most of them dont even look sick, like they hardly coughed a decibel, they barely squeaked a sneeze and already their in the ER. and my bro and alot of other sicker patients have to wait coz these paranoid mofos need a throat swap. but then again, i can't blame them...the plague is getting really out of control. i heard in new zealand they can't even hospitalize anyone coz it's just too common already and a whole province in china was quarantined. i'm pretty scared to follow through our super secret plan with irah but dude it's my teenlife soundtrack.

i'll just wear a mask =D Kkeut.

ps. yes i skipped work again -_-" coz i have to take care of my sick gorilla. three days of unpaid leave @___@ my pay's gonna be short grrr. the plague has really bad timing.

pps. i wish someone would stop texting me -_-" its suffocating....no i dont mean you irah, i NEED you to text me.

remixing the human soul

2009-08-03T13:36:00.003+08:00

epik high's new album rocks like woah lol some of it were boring shuffle rave music lol but most of the remixes are fuckin awesome =D

i skipped work today, i'm abit under the weather...don't worry i dont think mel gave me the swine flu..i'm sure it's just fatigue from working so much. since i work in a restaurant i dont think i should go to work, ppl might think it's H1N1 lol ya know how paranoid ppl are these days. i'm just really beat from working really hard yesterday. the place was uberly busy. thank allah i didnt break a glass i dropped last night, miraculously it actually bounced off the floor twice before afiq caught it. plus i texted irah till late last night talking about social experiments wink wink. we have a secret haha.

im not really desperate but i need a boyfriend hahaha (sure tina you sound sooo undesperate)...not just any boyfriend a b-boying boyfriend whoot. or someone who can rap like tablo or outsider but that's just asking too much..fine he could at least rap like asher lol, being asian is a big bonus hahaha. i'm actually smiling while im writing this, what a noob. well, excuse me for being sick, i'm just babbling (should be the other way around right?). so anyway speaking of boys an adam lambert dropped by yesterday. i swear he was like a tanned less gay adam lambert. he had the eye lined eyes and the fauxhawk and he had those big piercings like brandon boyd? yeah i dunno i guess he was cute but he looks like a fag if you stare at him too long XD.

irah lets go shopping next week. *o* kkeut.

everybody do the time warp.

2009-07-30T23:59:00.003+08:00

oooooh my gurzzzzz i am so tired from work but thats work lol. i guess i'mma go visit irah tmrw and buy ice cream lol but im broke...hmm maybe mom'll lend me so dough =p so anyways i was fasting and i had a full day shift today so noticing my "separuh mati" face as my manager puts it he forces me to take a break so i sat at the back of the shop not knowing what to do for half an hour and text emme before going into the kitchen and sleeping under the table =D seriously working at Secret Recipe makes u feel like a happy hobo for some reason lol.
so i broke my fast with some korean charboiled yeah good stuff. but then there was this one lady with her daughter and husband and so help me god if i were as short tempered as my dad i'd have just give her the most traumatic verbal abuse she'll ever have to experience (note exaggeration)...but seriously i just dont get why some people just can't be polite. come on, i'm a waitress not a slave >.<>

plus i missed out alot while i was working...like narnia's tv premier lol and p.s. i love you...i watched like half of leather heads and that dude from the office @___@ hot dayumm lol.

in other news, Top and Seungri are still in my heart......somewhere =p Kkeut.

presume zombie mode

2009-07-28T21:56:00.005+08:00

ok so irah slept over last night -SCORE!- lol. i can't believe she made me watch The City...it was a fashion show in motion picture with a bunch of bitchy people lol. seriously the dudes are the biggest bitches XD . and as usual we got really deep through our last minutes of wake before i went "you gonna sleep now?" and irah goes "mhm" then -cricket cricket-...lol beats this one sleep over where i was talking about chickens and marisa fell asleep so i was left to talk to myself. i have this thing where at sleepovers i'm the last to fall asleep XD there was this one time when marisa, naz and i slept over at irah's and we were watching the covenant and naz was the first to fall asleep then irah. so i was busy making fun of the covenant like so;

me: omg this is so gay...the lines are horrible...this dude ugh...marisa? marisa?
marisa: he's not gay...-goes back to sleep-

so anyway after sending irah home i got back home and slept a few more hours before i went to marisa's...farah was supposed to come with but something came up. havent seen her in AGES 0.0 she must be preparing for Mel's return lol. so anyway i got to go all kpoppy with m today which i dont get to do much lol i forced irah to bear with me which is cool coz it doesnt matter if she cares or not she'll just go "uhuh, yup" lol.

so afiq told me yesterday my 3 day paycheck just came in and i'm like fuck yeaaaaaah lol maybe it's not much but what the heck money's money. and tomorow i will be going back to work....oh joy lol. i slept through most of today and i'm gonna go back to sleep after this. yes its only 10. but if i can fall asleep and wake up early tmrw that'll be awesome. Kkeut.

p.s.
Peel Fresh orange helps with bowel movement. a glass of that will have you spending at least 15 minutes on the toilet seat lol.

p.p.s
what's that AAR song where he goes i wanna wanna wanna touch you lol rawrr

how can you make fun of english?

2009-07-27T15:14:00.000+08:00

this is how.

2009-07-26T20:50:00.002+08:00

i am finally freeeeeeeee dude! i've got two off days starting tmrw ooh glory lol.

things to do:
a. hang out with marisa tmrw if she;s not too busy.
b. hang out with irah -cough sleepover my place cough-
c. 2pm whoring marathon.
d. write a song
e. revive my soul....this should be the first thing to do lol.
f. soak feet in crystal solution
g. find out who mithra and tukutz dare to date besides me muahahahaha
h. uhm i dunno... lol whatever comes up =D

fatiguueeee

2009-07-26T01:18:00.002+08:00

-sigh- i went to work today feeling the fatigue of 2 weeks straight of working...gosh i'm so tired. but like when i get home i still have a hard time falling asleep...then my manager tells me to jsut work tmrw (sunday) and take monday and tuesday off. so i told him i'll work but i'll go in the morning shift and go back by maghrib. thank goodness he said ok.

so then at break i nearly crumble to the ground coz i left my wallet at home and mom didnt give me money today lol. thankfully mr.lee was nice enough to lend me some dough but my bro came right before i had to pay for my lunch. so all was good i didnt owe my supervisor any money lol. so after break guess who came? polar bear and emme!!! omg i miss them so much X_X but we couldnt talk much coz i was well working lol. they only stayed awhile coz irah had to go look for some stuff for her play.

i can't think of anything right now...i'm too tired to bitch about stuff now lol. Kkeut.

minutes away from clinically insane.

2009-07-25T01:01:00.002+08:00

so i was disappointed again today. not by my coworkers they were cool today lol it takes awhile actually to notice their coolness. the thing is today the clerk from the school i was supposed to teach called me today and told me i didnt get the job pulak, coz i needed an official certificate. so same story old story. if this was the case they couldve checked beforehand of hiring me. ok so fuck that. i'm so pissed off. just that i hate hvg been so happy then the next thing i know BAM fate pulls a prank on me, laughing its ass off into my face.

"GOTCHA!" fate would say...

let me tell you how this feels like. it feels like hmmm....ok, you decide to go sky diving today so you get on the plane, gear up and your friends wish you luck as you jump, and when the time comes, it turns out you didnt actually have a parachute on. so yeah basically you're screwed. so yeah dad came over to work and bought me lunch to cheer me up with a pep talk and fulfill his daddily duties. thanks pops =) . and later i called irah. thanks irah for lettin me lean on you anytime i needed to. it's nice to have someone near when shit like this happens. like my dad says maybe god's planning something better in the future for me. cut off twice from the luck line he better have something good for me sometime soon lol ive even started praying again. i feel now i need god's help more than ever. things around me are slowly falling apart...but i wont get into that. He has plans for all of us it's up to us to accept it or not.

It's been heart-wrenching period for me, so this is where i let things out when i cant just say things. i have to thank irah for letting me bother her in these recent times to luahkan perasaan lol. so i'll be working in Secret recipe for at least another month with irfaan as my lunch buddy when we can actually break together lol. So i'm just gonna have to be patient and keep my faith until my time comes to do whatever i'm supposed to do, Kkeut.

=_='

2009-07-24T00:06:00.004+08:00

annoyed just annoyed and i felt the need to leave twitter like messages in my blog. not like anyone reads my shit so =) i am annoyeeeed ok ya'll can twit that -_-"

kkeut.

edit; still pretty stoked about the teaching job alhamdulillah and actually my aunties a teacher so what i really meant was nobody else in my family are language teachers besides my late grandparents.

the power of faith and prayers

2009-07-23T11:28:00.003+08:00

right, so yesterday i was disappointed also because my teacher told me i couldnt get the job. BUUUUUUUUT this morning the school office called me and the secretary told me that i GOT THE JOB!!!!! althought the pay wont come in until after the three months i'll be teaching i dont care i've always wanted to teach. Being an english teacher was one of my many dreams. plus, my grandparents were teachers and nobody had followed suit on that profession in my family yet. i think i'd make them proud spanking 11 year olds =D

so wish me luck venturing the jungle of the elementary amazon where adhd children run wild and free. and i'm gonna go solat sunat now =D

the almighty will always hear your prayers if you really mean it =), Kkeut.

get a clue kekekekeke

2009-07-23T01:02:00.002+08:00

so uhm work's ok today lol but some people just dont want to leave until we start pulling the shutters down. even then people still wanna come and buy cakes -_-" like come ON dude! like they couldnt wait till tmrw. so irah and i were supposed to meet up but something came up so irah couldnt make it -sob sob-

but actually -laughs signature cheesy sheepish laugh-, if you were my best friend you'd know what this stupid "senyum kambing" look means hahaha but as usual i ain't tellin nothin =p ya'll wont be able to guess this one. so yeah good luck =p i'll just keep giggling till ya'll get sick of it as usual =D

you godda paiiyaa

2009-07-22T00:15:00.005+08:00

alright remember my ranty bratty post before bout my co-workers? so today was pretty cool, it rained thank god lol and there were barely anybody coming in. everybody was in a good mood. i think the other day, izzah jsut wasnt in her zone lol she was fine today like she was letting me do my job lol. she helped me set up the mop solution coz she nicely asked me to mop yesterday. and today she told me i could sweep. and the boys as usual get real cheeky lol they start to put make-up on raja. such a shame i didnt get a picture of that lol.

maybe the weather cooled us all down plus i was fasting today so maybe its a blessing from the almighty =D .

so this is what we do at secret recipe when the place is empty of bothersome customers =p we hangout behind the counter...like lonesome hobos

kak yati and afiq
Raja and Ayid
ayid's feet...uhm i have no idea of his purpose lol
Ayid and Izzah
me reading percy jackson on me free time

and not forgetting my hubbies lol folro XD -sigh- Taec you're just amazing XD ChanSung dont be sad i'll prolly be your friend once ur hair grows back =D